


Secret Confessions

by CarissaRae



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, Emperor Kylo Ren, Empress Rey, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Lightsabers, May the Force Be With You, Protective Kylo Ren, Secret Marriage, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-11 10:02:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 39,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15313092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarissaRae/pseuds/CarissaRae
Summary: Leia has recently passed away and Rey has found herself connected through a force bond with Kylo Ren again. He uses the opportunity to comfort her despite being on opposite sides of a war. Rey feels the pull to the dark side. Will she answer the call? This is a Reylo Fan-fiction set after the events of Episode 8: The Last Jedi. Please Note: This is the same story I posted on Fanfiction.net.





	1. Don't let me go

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new story! Just a heads up the beginning will involve building a fluffy Reylo relationship before I take you on the crazy adventure I have planned out. I will be including Force Ghosts, the Knights of Ren and a whole lot of angst down the road. It was rolling around my head recently and I couldn't fit it into my other Reylo Fanfiction. So strap in we have a long road ahead of us...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The belonging you seek is not behind you... it is ahead." - Maz Kanata

Rey closed the door to her room with a soft thud. She leaned her back against it while attempting to steady her breathing. It had been nearly a month since the events of Crait had occurred. The pressures of the Resistance were getting to her and the recent loss of Leia was proving too much to bear. She was finding herself lost in her memories and her thoughts kept straying to _him_. All her emotions began to well in her eyes and a single tear started making its decent down her face.

At that exact instant, she felt that familiar tug that signalled she was about to connect with Kylo Ren through a force bond. The last time she had seen him was the day that Leia had died. It had only been a fleeting glance. They locked eyes and clutched at their chests and then the moment was gone. She wasn't sure who closed the bond at that time because it all happened so quickly. She swiftly shut her eyes not to block him out but to keep her resolve from crumbling before him. She knew if she peered into his swirling dark orbs she wouldn't be able to resist the pull of them. She never could be sure of what direction their force bonds would go and she knew that she couldn't cope with a heated exchange right now.

Kylo was alone in his chambers when he felt the pull of his connection to _her_. He thought he would never get a chance to see her again unless they were in battle. The last two times they had linked it had been brief and they hadn't even exchanged any words. The most recent he had accidentally severed due to the pain from the sudden loss of his mother. He refused to resist this link even if it didn't last long. As he turned to face her he could see her leaning against the bedroom door. Her eyes were tightly closed and a tear was descending gracefully down her cheek. He watched as a breath caught in her chest and she began sliding down the door. Even crying she looked beautiful - Who was he kidding? - She would always be stunning to him.

He was the only one that got to see this vulnerable side of her. Most people knew her as the independent and strong Last Jedi - saviour of the Resistance and fierce opponent of the First Order. He got to see the true side of Rey - the exposed forgotten little girl who craves love and protection from the harsh realities of the world. The same girl who extended her hand to him across the fire on Ahch-To and silently begged for his help when Snoke wanted him to end her life. It pained him to see her like this and he desperately craved to take away her suffering. He silently made his way across the room and sat down on the floor beside her.

She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. Her eyes remained shut as the sobs began to escape her lips. Tears were streaming down her face and her body began to shake. She allowed her forehead to rest on the top of her folded arms. She was being washed over with the hollow sadness that she had been keeping at bay for weeks. She could feel his presence beside her now and the heat that was radiating off his body. It was soothing to know that he was here for her - right beside her when she needed him the most.

She released a shuttered breath and focused on stabilising her breathing. She lifted her head and kept her eyesight trained forward but in her periphery, she could see the stationary dark figure. Silence surrounded them both but it was strangely comforting. He knew it wasn't necessary for words to be exchanged between them. She liked this about him - the patient and compassionate side that only she got to see. He was so close that it wouldn't take much for her to reach out and touch him.

She was beginning to crave that contact when without warning, she felt his gloved hand gently grasp the space between her armband and shoulder giving her a gentle squeeze. She responded with a little nod of her head and as he went to withdraw his hand she covered it with her own locking it into place. She tilted her head to peer up at him through her eyelashes and she saw his gaze flick from their hands to her eyes. Another tear was cascading down her cheek and her lip was still quivering. He brought his free hand up to wipe away the moisture that had collected on her cheeks. As he cupped the edge of her face she leaned into his glove - his thumb moving back and forth.

He sighed. "Rey, I'm worried about you."

She stared into his eyes and all she could see was his sincerity. "You shouldn't be... I'm your enemy now remember," she whispered.

His voice was low and tender. "You know you'll never be that to me."

"Then what am I to _you_?" She tilted her chin up bringing their faces closer.

"What am _I_ to you?" He retorted while raising an eyebrow and allowing a smirk to tug at the corners of his mouth.

She allowed her gaze to fall away from his expression. "I don't think talking about this is such a good idea."

He allowed his hand to drop from the place it had been resting on her jaw. "You're probably right... I don't know where we could go from here."

She looked down at their hands that were still touching and she intertwined her fingers with his. "For now can we leave everything else until tomorrow and just have this?"

He nodded and watched her next movements carefully. She shifted herself nearer and he instinctively opened his arm to allow her a chance to nestle into him. He dropped his knees to lie flush with the floor and she surprised him by taking the opportunity to climb up onto his lap. Their entangled hands wrapped around her and rested over her heart. Her form was now engulfed with his remaining arm. She was curled up under his chin and he could feel her exhaled breaths tickle at his skin. She fit perfectly in his embrace like a missing puzzle piece that had been found and he wished they could continue to do this.

She could hear the gentle thud of his heartbeat against her ear and feel his chin resting on the top of her head. The rise and fall of his chest became soothing to her. At that moment she could pretend that they weren't on opposite sides of a war. There was no light and dark side only them. She could feel his grip loosening on her and she closed her eyes to will herself to hold on. The bond was about to end - they could both feel it and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

He sealed his eyes too and tightened his hold on her even though her figure began fading out of his arms. Before he knew it she was gone. The warm from her breath still lingered on his skin and her scent clung to his clothing. He didn't know when he would see her again and he hoped that the force would connect them again soon.

After his body had disappeared from below her, she could sense the cold floor through her clothing and her head was now being propped up against the door. She could still feel the friction of his leather gloves between her fingers. She took a deep breath and silently prayed that the next time they saw each other it wasn't on the battlefield.


	2. Reflections of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your focus determines your reality.” – Qui-Gon Jinn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Internal thoughts appear in italics.

The following day Rey, Poe and Finn found themselves convening in a small lounge away from the other members of the Resistance. They were debating their next steps moving forward including ways to cripple the First Order. They had spent the last couple of days relocating their base of operations to one of Naboo's moons. Rori was a swampy world, located in the Chommell Sector in the Mid Rim. It was one of the Rebel Bases from the time of the Galactic Civil War - The same era that saw the rise of Darth Vader and the fall of the Republic. Despite the base being old it was mostly operational and had avoided detection from both the Empire and the First Order.

It had been Leia's suggestion before she passed away - Her heart had been damaged after being ejected into the vacuum of space and one day it had finally stopped beating. Some say it wasn't her injuries that lead to her demise, some believe she lost the will to live. Just like her biological mother before her the loss of her husband, son and brother proving too much of a burden to endure. In the aftermath of her death, Poe had been elected as the new General - A rank which he had taken seriously. He had bestowed the title of Captain on Finn and insisted that Rey assume the label of Jedi.

She protested this, of course, informing him that she wasn't a true Jedi. She hadn't passed the Trials and Master Luke had died before he had a chance to help her develop her force abilities. Not that he wanted to anyway, he had never officially taken her on as a Padawan. He was adamant that it was time for the Jedi to end. Any knowledge she had gained had been through the sacred texts she had acquired from the temple on Ahch-To. Or rather, stolen from Luke. Not that they were much help either, she was finding multiple passages written in languages that she had not come across before. It was an unfortunate obstacle to her training and she was wondering if she should consult the only other force user she knew. _He did say he wanted to show me the ways of the force._

She decided to withhold Luke's reluctance and omit certain details from the retelling of the events that occurred on Ahch-To and the Supremacy. Including her strange connection with the new leader of the First Order. She didn't want to reveal their special link to anyone and she knew he felt the same way. It was comforting knowing that she was bound to him - it made her feel less alone in the galaxy. In time, she hoped to gain control over their bond. _Maybe we could do it together?_ The intimacy of sharing her mind with him wasn't lost on her - She was surprised that she was even harbouring the idea. But she knew it had to be the will of the force to connect them. S _noke didn't create our bond. He only manipulated us for his own gain._

For now, it had remained a secret despite Chewbacca revealing that she had been on board the Supremacy when it had been damaged. She had successfully deflected their questions by saying that it was too painful to talk about. Truthfully it was, she didn't want to reveal what occurred between her and Kylo Ren. However, it wasn't long before the two men drew their own conclusions. They had received word that Rey had assassinated Snoke and his Elite Praetorian Guards. She didn't have the heart to tell them that it wasn't completely true. A spark of hope had ignited within them and she refused to be the one to snuff it out.

The conference they were conducting was long and tedious. Rey had found herself distracted by the memory of the night before. She was vacantly staring at the bottom of the door on the other side of the table. It was an exact copy of the one in her bedroom. Her mind was straying to what she wished was different. _What would have happened if I did accept his proposal?_

"Base to Rey. Come in Rey." Finn was waving his hand in front of her face.

Her head snapped up to meet his stare. "I'm sorry did you say something?"

Poe uncrossed his arms from his chest and placed them on his hips. "Are you with us?" He was clearly frustrated. "We seemed to have lost you there for a second."

She blinked and replied sheepishly. "I'm with you."

Finn lifted an eyebrow. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing I can change." She shook her head. "As you were saying?"

Poe crinkled his forehead but continued. "We received an anonymous tip that Kylo Ren will be on Naboo five days from now. Apparently, he is negotiating a trade agreement."

"More like a slavery agreement," Finn huffed.

Rey sat up a little straighter in her chair. "Negotiating? Isn't that a good thing? It means he's not taking what he wants by force anymore."

"It's clearly a ruse," Finn countered.

"Are you sure?" She sceptically retorted. "For weeks now we haven't heard about any unnecessary brutality from him or the First Order." She casually offered. "Maybe they've changed."

Poe was shaking his head. "A leopard never changes its spots. Kylo Ren is no different. Being quiet means they are planning something big."

Finn inquired. "What do you suggest we do to him then?"

"It's time to put the monster down for good," Poe confidently replied.

"What do you mean 'put him down'?" Rey's eyes grew wide. "He's not some animal that should be led to the slaughter."

The men continued their conversation by paying no attention to her. Finn was positively curious. "How do you suggest we do it?"

"We infiltrate the Queen's guard," Poe elaborated. "Once they have finished this trade agreement... we'll slip a sedative in his drink and finish him off when he's vulnerable."

"Who sounds like a monster now?" Rey grunted. "I think I'm done. I refuse to sit here and listen to you plotting a murder. I won't have any part in this." She abruptly stood up clenching her fists. As she turned to leave Finn grabbed her shoulder. "Let go of me right now," she warned. "Or I won't be responsible for what happens next." The darkness was lapping at the edge - like a hot spring begging her to dive in. A spark vibrated through her shoulder unconsciously zapping his fingertips.

He recoiled his hand quickly. "Ow... Why did you do that?"

She didn't answer him and was already marching out of the meeting racing towards her room. As she reached the hallway she broke out into a run. The adrenaline was pulsating through her. For a fleeting moment, she had slipped into the dark side - It was exhilarating. The raw untamed power she felt had welcomed her like an old friend and she wasn't sure how she was meant to feel about it.


	3. The other side.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Trust goes both ways." - Jyn Erso

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may seem to be a long elevator ride, but I feel like time tends to slow down when the two of them are communicating through a force bond. Especially since it's just the two of them. As locations change, the time in the other location nearly stands still. It's the force at work. Well, that's what I like to tell myself anyway - Just go with it. As for their internal thoughts, they aren't in italics because they can't hear each other at the moment because they haven't opened up completely yet.

Kylo Ren had just stepped into the elevator alone - he was heading up to his new throne room that had been constructed on the Finalizer. He was rocking back onto his heels when he felt another connection to _her._ He looked up to see Rey breathing deeply with her hands pressed against the wall. Her eyes were closed and her head was leaning against the door. He took the opportunity to observe her and the significant rise and fall of her shoulders. Something had happened and she was clearly struggling with it. "Bad day?" He found himself asking her.

She sighed with relief. "You have no idea." She opened her eyes and turned around to face him. Unexpectantly she discovered herself surrounded by the turbolift. Somehow, she wasn't in her room anymore. "Oh my god," she gasped. She started considering the familiar space around them. It looked identical to the elevator he had taken her in to see Snoke - The illumined white panels contrasted against the solid black pieces. "You can't be on the Supremacy." She took a step towards him observing him with honest curiosity. "Wasn't that destroyed?" 

He noticed her relief instantly and how much closer she had brought herself to him. Her eyes had a pull he couldn't escape from. "Can you see my surroundings?" He already knew the answer but he wanted her confirmation anyway.

She met his gaze and beamed. The excitement was radiating off her, and she nodded. "You didn't answer my question," she softly complained.

He was distracted by her smile - It was the first time he had seen hers. She seemed enthusiastic about this new development. Her question snapping him back to attention. "It was. I'm on the Finalizer. Most of the internal structures like the hallways and elevators are the same." Why did he tell her that piece of information? She shouldn't know where he was. Not that she probably cared anyway. He used the opportunity to ask his own. "Were you able to see my surroundings last night?"

She shook her head. "No, could you?"

"No, this is intriguing." His inquisitiveness had peaked. What had changed to make her suddenly see his surroundings? Was the link growing stronger? He needed to figure it out. "What were you doing right before this connection?"

She furrowed her brows thinking it over but didn't hesitate to answer him. "I was focusing on my breathing and then I thought of you."

He smirked. "You thought of me?"

The look of shock crossed her expression. "I have no idea why I just admitted that," she whispered.

"No, that's good. We need to be truthful to figure this out." He ran his gloved hand through his hair and exhaled hard. Honesty is a two-way street he thought. "I was thinking about you too." He dropped his regard and paced around the room. Saying his next opinion aloud. "Maybe that's what sets it off?" He turned back to face her. "What about last night? What were you thinking of then?"

Her heartbeat began to quicken. It made her nervous to acknowledge that the events of the night before had happened. "I was thinking about a lot of things, and you were one of them." She was afraid to peek at him and gauge his reaction. She didn't like how exposed she allowed herself to be with him. She cleared her throat and began exploring the room instead. "What about you?" She casually inquired.

He shrugged. "You're always on my mind."

She whipped around to gawk at him. "Really?" The tug of another smile trying to take hold.

He lightly chuckled. "Don't be so surprised. I've never met anyone like you." He stepped towards her forcing her head to tilt up to maintain their gaze. "Do you think of me often?" It was barely a whisper.

She observed the amber flakes within his brown eyes and the compassion they held for her. He was silently pleading her to answer him. She bit the edge of her lip. "You've dominated my thoughts ever since we met." She breathed and looked away shyly.

He swallowed and exhaled the breath he didn't know he was holding. "Okay, well that means that thinking about each other isn't enough of a trigger. Maybe it's more of an emotional one." She clearly was upset last night. She must have reached out to him without relising it. "What happened before we connected? I know something is bothering you."

She heaved a sigh. She wasn't surprised he knew that something was wrong with her. "I got angry, and I tapped into the dark side." He raised his eyebrows at her. "It was only for a moment." He slyly smiled. She bit her lip again, attempting to hide the satisfaction she was getting from her confession. "I rushed back to my room. I thought of how badly I wanted to be anywhere but here, and then I thought of you."

"That could be why you're seeing my environment. You wanted to escape from your surroundings and found your way into mine. If it's alright with you. I'd like us to try a few things."

"Okay," she softly replied.

He pointed to a panel on the wall. "Try pressing that button." She walked over and attempted to push the button that was labelled '4' but her fingers passed right through it.

She crinkled her nose and allowed her hand to drop back to her side. He reached out and gently grasped her wrist with his gloved hand. "And now?"

She tried again, and her finger made contact illuminating the button. She turned to smile at him.

"Interesting. You can only interact with my surroundings if I'm touching you." He closed his eyes and concentrated. When he opened them, he was no longer in the elevator but in a small room. There was a cot in the corner that looked like it would barely fit him. It was pressed hard up against the wall with a bedside table beside it. There was a desk at the other end of the room and a cupboard. It was barely furnished.

She gasped. "Wow. Did you do that?"

His eyes were still exploring the change in scenery. "Yeah. Where are we?"

"My room. I know it's not much but at least it's private. I don't have to share it with anyone." He let go of her and walked over to pick up the glass on her bedside table. His fingers passing through it.

"Come here." He stretched his hand out towards her and she quickly took the steps to become within reach, allowing her fingers to glide over his.

He carefully picked up the glass, examined the clear contents and quickly put it back down. "This is amazing."

Suddenly, they heard a knock on the door. The interruption causing them to release each other. Neither of them moving or saying a word. The door opened revealing Poe.

He peeked his head inside. "Rey, can we talk?"

Rey studied Poe's face, expecting for him to react to the other man that was standing in her room. Surprisingly he didn't. "Not right now."

He stepped inside the room anyway, refusing to accept her answer. "Look I know you're upset but please, we need to clear the air."

"You heard her pilot, get out of here," Kylo growled. Rey was still watching Poe, but he still didn't react. "He can't hear or see me. I wonder what would happen if I touched you right now?"

"No!" she yelled a little louder than she meant to. "I mean, not right now." She was addressing Kylo but Poe thought she was talking to him.

"Okay, but I would like to talk soon."

She finally registered what Poe was saying. "Look Poe. I meant what I said, I can't support your plan."

"I know, but I was coming to tell you that we've decided to abandon it."

"Really?" She sounded hopeful.

"It was an extreme plan and you're right it wouldn't make us any better than _them_."

"Good, I'm glad you can see it my way." She remembered that she had zapped Finn. "Is Finn okay?"

Poe chuckled. "Yeah, it takes more than a minor electric shock to rattle that ex-storm trooper. Care to join us for lunch? I'm starving."

"Okay, but I'll meet you there. I need to finish something first."

"You got it." He winked at her and swiftly left the room. Leaving her alone with Kylo again.

"I don't like him," Kylo declared.

Rey snorted. "You don't like anyone."

"I like you."

She opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again.

"You know you get these subtle little creases, right between your eyebrows when I say something you don't expect."

"Do I?" She automatically put her hand up to feel for them.

"Don't worry, it's cute. I have to go, but I'll see you again soon."

"Is that a threat?" She light-heartedly replied.

His gaze flicked to her perfectly curved lips then back to her eyes, before he responded. "More like a promise."

He closed his eyes and disappeared. Rey couldn't help but grin like a fool after he left. He had admitted to liking her and made a promise that she couldn't wait for him to keep.


	4. I call to you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're still holding on! Let go!" - Kylo Ren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was getting out of hand in length, so I split it up. So much happens in this force bond and it all becomes important to what occurs moving forward.

It had been many hours since Kylo had last connected with Rey. He was sitting in his office, frowning at the datapad in front of him. For his day to day activities, he had decided to continue utilising the private workspace. The grand throne room which had only recently been constructed would only serve its purpose for meeting guests, ceremonies and any other official business. He was adamant that he didn't want to emulate Snoke, by wasting away his days on a chair. He was trying to be a more benevolent leader, who refused to rule through fear and intimidation. He had traded executions for negotiations and war for peace. However, Kylo wasn't above slaughter. When he was under the tutelage of Snoke, he was encouraged to take satisfaction in the kill. Even though he still had to demonstrate his authority through this method, he took no pleasure in it.

With his new position of power, he had been doing his best to curb his childish outbursts. It had been a while since he had destroyed a panel or piece of equipment with his lightsaber or fist. He couldn't say the same about flinging people into walls or force chocking individuals. He was still the prince of darkness, not a fully reformed man. He had been using mediation to assist in balancing himself. He no longer hid in the darkness or turned away from the light. With his old master no longer whispering in his ear, he became less conflicted. He didn't realise how much control Snoke had over him, until after his demise.

Since he had become Supreme Leader, he decided to change his title to Emperor. It was a simple way to differentiate himself from his previous Master, as well as a nod to the fallen Empire that his grandfather Darth Vader had helped to build. Ever since Crait, he had immersed himself in learning all that he could, about the policies and procedures that were currently in place and figuring out ways to maximise their efficiency. He was using his newfound position to make positive changes within the First Order, as well as the Galaxy under his control. This was proving to be a long and drawn out process.

Many people within the First Order weren't keen on his methods and found ways to question his authority at every opportunity. The most vocal was Armitage Hux. The email that Kylo was currently perusing declared Hux's 'dissatisfaction' over the lack of resources, that had been deployed to 'eradicate' the last remaining forces of the Resistance 'threat.' Kylo rolled his eyes. This man doesn't know when to give up. Kylo was trying to come up with an acceptable defence over his lack of action regarding the Resistance. His current justification of them not being a danger was becoming more difficult, due to their increasing numbers. He knew that Rey was the real reason he hadn't pursued them, and he couldn't come out and tell that to Hux.

He sat down the datapad and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He had been at this so long, that he was considering retiring to his chambers and getting some much-needed rest. He was abruptly washed over with a rippling anger that threatened to consume him. It was causing his pulse to elevate and a spike in adrenaline that was dilating his muscles. It was a familiar strength that he normally wasn't afraid to utilise. Nevertheless, this felt strangely different. He was struggling to grasp control of it and before he knew it, he was punching the cabinet behind him with as much force as he could muster. The resulting blow causing the flesh that was stretched over his knuckles to tear open. The pain compelling him to realise that the acquainted emotion wasn't his own.

"Rey."

He focused on pulling himself to her and observed the scene before him. Rey was standing on the opposite side of the table he was seated at. They were in a mess hall that was littered with broken glass. The people surrounding himself where either crouched down, leaning away from the table or covering their faces. He instantly recognised that the pilot and traitor were among them. Their expressions showing a variety of reactions from disbelief to fear. As he stood up, her astonished gaze locked onto him.

"I…I didn't…" Rey was faltering in the situation she had found herself in.

Kylo was quick to coach her. "Rey just breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth." He exaggerated a breath for her. "Copy me."

She did as he instructed and released a shuddering lungful of air slowly.

There had been an unexpected hush within the room and Poe was the first to angrily break the stillness. "What the hell Rey? Why did you do that?"

Rey glanced over at him, she opened her mouth but was finding no words coming out. How was she meant to explain what she had just done?

"Tell him it was a disturbance in the force," Kylo answered.

Rey barely managed to choke out the words he had fed to her. "It must have been a disturbance in the force."

"So, you didn't do that?" Poe raised an eyebrow.

Kylo's voice was calm and comforting. "No."

"No," she parroted.

Poe turned his chin up. He was considering what she had presented. "Was it Kylo Ren?"

She beheld Kylo and he nodded. She shrugged. "Who else?"

Poe grimaced, he didn't understand the force and he wanted to accept what she was saying. She was on their side. She had no reason to lie to them, right? "What did he do?"

"Tell him you have no idea and that you need to meditate on it," Kylo responded.

She cleared her throat. "I don't know. I should probably meditate on it."

Poe placed his hands on his hips and surveyed the table. "It must have been pretty bad for that to happen. That bastard is evil."

She opened her mouth to argue but Kylo was quick to shush her. "Just agree with him and get out of there." Rey contemplated what to do. "Rey, I know you don't feel that way. Please just do it," he smirked. "Call me a monster."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "He's a monster."

The tension in the room began to relax and was met with different shouts of agreement. Rey commenced making her way for the exit as Kylo moved around the table to shadow her. Finn stood up to follow Rey. "Would you like some company?" Rose saw his movements and glared.

Rey plastered a fake smile on her face. "No thanks, I should do this alone." She made a hasty departure with Kylo Ren hot on her heels. She pushed on one of the exit doors and found herself outside. The door closed itself behind them with a loud thud.

The harsh humid air stung her face. The swampy world that the base occupied was covered in scattered, shallow marshland and a thick billowy fog that gave it an eerie feeling. Exotic creatures hid in the darkness and could be heard calling out to each other. It felt like eyes were watching them at every turn. It was similar to the planet Dagobah that Yoda had exiled himself on.

Rey was shaking as she turned back and faced Kylo.

"Are you okay?" He inquired despite knowing the answer.

Rey giggled uncomfortably and shrugged. "I'm supposed to say yes. That's what the champion of the light would say, but I'm not. I want to be okay, but nothing about any of this is okay." She folded her arms around herself. "It's all too much too fast. I think something is very, very wrong with me."

"There is nothing wrong with you." He bridged the gap between them draping his arms around her. She relaxed her stance as he moved towards her and practically fell into his embrace.

"I don't know what to do." She mumbled into his black tunic and wrapped her arms around his waist. She clasped her hands behind his back.

He whispered into her hair. "Can you show me what happened? I want to help you."

"I don't think I could resist you right now, even if I tried." She absently sighed.

"How could my little Jedi become so defeated in only a few hours? What happened to the girl who gave me my scar?"

She murmured. "She gives up."

He shook his head. "Nope, not my scavenger. She's a fighter. She'll never give up."

She released him enough to peep up at his face. "Ben, I spend my days surrounded by all these people and yet I still feel completely alone. It's not like any of them really know me. All they see is this mythical saviour, someone who they believe will slay the _mighty_ Kylo Ren. I didn't ask for this."

He stared ahead of him as he spoke. "Neither did I. I didn't choose to be a Skywalker. I had this destiny thrust upon me without a choice." He hesitated, before continuing his train of thought. "Sometimes, I wish I was normal. I imagine I have unimportant parents and that I could live an anonymous life."

She frowned. "Being born to nobodies isn't so great."

"That's not what I meant. I mean no force, no destiny. The ability to make my own choices."

She bit the inside of her cheek. "If you were given the chance, what would you choose?"

"A simple life. A job, a home." He squeezed her tighter. "A family of my own."

She found herself caught up in the picture he was painting. "I never really imagined myself as a mother."

"I can see it." He made a bold leap, hoping she would play along. "I can see a big family. We could have two, maybe three children. We would absolutely make up for the failings of our own."

She interrupted him. "I'm not staying home and becoming a baby factory. I want to work too."

His heart skipped a beat. She was accepting his fantasy as her own. "I wouldn't dream of making you do that, but you would look adorable with a permanent pregnant belly."

She lightly punched him to lighten the seriousness of their conversation. "Okay, okay. You can go to work sometimes while I stay home with the kids. Maybe I can find a job where I can bring them with me. All that matters to me is you all know, that you are safe and loved." He silently hoped that she realised the hidden meaning in his words.

She recognised the hint he was dropping. He was imagining a future with her, not because of her force abilities, but because he loves her. "Sounds nice but it's only a dream. You aren't a nobody and neither am I. Not anymore. So where does that leave us?"

"Bonded by a force that insists on driving us crazy." He kissed her on the top of her head and pulled back from the embrace to see her face. "So, are you going to tell me what happened or are you going to show me?" He smiled down at her.

She looked up at him. "You can see it for yourself. I wouldn't want to miss out any important details."

He brought his hands up to either side of her head and she whimpered in response. "Don't be afraid. If you relax, this shouldn't hurt."

She grumbled. "I'm not afraid. I was enjoying your arms around me."

He chuckled. "I promise I will hold you later. Just breathe and focus on the events in the mess hall."

She took a deep breath and he allowed his mind to touch on hers. He slipped effortlessly into the memory and began watching the events through her eyes.

She was seated around a long table with Poe to her left and Rose and Finn sitting across from her. They all had trays of food in front of them. They were in the middle of their meals when Rose piped up.

"So, Rey what happened on the Supremacy?"

Finn elbowed her casually and she glanced at him. "What? I know what you told me, but I want to hear the rest from her. She knows what happened to us. I'm just curious, what happened with her and Snoke?"

Rey swallowed. "I don't really want to go over it. All you need to know is Snoke is dead. That's all that matters." She allowed her eyes to fall to her meal and proceeded to push it around with her fork.

Rose continued. "Why did you go there in the first place?"

Her answer was simple. "I had a vision. The force guided me there."

Poe interjected. "You never told me that."

"What was in the vision?" Finn inquired.

"It doesn't really matter now, does it? The result won't change."

Rose considered Rey's admission. "Was it Kylo Ren?"

Rey shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "What makes you ask that?"

"Chewie, he said that you went there to save him," Rose stated it as a matter of fact.

Rey grit her teeth. "Can we drop this?"

"They are reasonable questions, Rey. If you answer them. We won't need to ask you anymore." Finn suggested to her.

"Ok, fine." She abandoned her fork on her tray. "You want to know the truth well here it is. Snoke sent me a vision of Kylo Ren turning back to the light. I foolishly went there to go and get him. It ended up being a trap. I was tortured by Snoke in front of Kylo. He wanted to know Luke's whereabouts and to punish Kylo for his compassion for me. It all got crazy and Snoke ended up dead."

"Wait, Kylo Ren has compassion for you. Are you trying to tell us, that he is in _love_ with you?" Rose had a hopeful glint in her eye.

"He asked me to rule the galaxy with him and I rejected him. You happy now? You heard enough?" The anger was bubbling up inside of her. How dare these people, her supposed friends, demand to know things that don't concern them.

"He proposed?" Poe laughed. "Jez, that guy is delusional. You know we could use his feelings for you against him?"

She pushed her tray forward and sprung to her feet. "No!" She shouted, the pain evident in her voice. "I won't do it. I left him, that was cruel enough. I won't play with his feelings for your sick gain," she snarled.

"Calm down, it's just an idea. If I didn't know any better, I would think you're in love with him too." Poe counted with an arrogant grin.

Without warning the glasses on their table exploded and scattered in different directions. Everyone in the room reacted immediately through shrieks, gasps and varying states of shielding themselves. An unnerving silence engulfed the room, her eyes inspected their faces. There was no understanding, no compassion only fear, until her gaze fell onto Kylo.

She found herself addressing him. "I…I didn't…" Didn't what? Didn't mean to scare them with her uncontrolled powers, is that what she was trying to say? Or was it an apology for revealing more than she planned to? Either way, she was finding herself at a loss for words.

Kylo gently removed his mind from hers. He tucked a stray hair that had fallen across her face to behind her ear. He caressed the edge of her jaw. Their faces were so close to each other, they could feel each other's breath. Was this the moment that would change everything for them?


	5. You call to me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I need someone to show me my place in all of this." - Rey

The anticipation was making Rey incredibly nervous. What was he waiting for? She tilted her chin up and glanced from his lips to his eyes and back again. He must have registered the hint because he partially smirked and proceeded to bring his mouth closer to hers. She could feel her heart pounding against her ribcage, the sound thumping in her ears. She caught her breath, his lips hovered above hers. Her eyelashes fluttered slightly, as their lips lightly touched. She sealed her eyelids and felt his free arm snake around her waist, pulling her body close to him.

The heavy atmosphere that was surrounding them shifted and was replaced by the cooling of recycled air. The sudden change in temperature caused a shiver to shoot down the back of her neck. The pressure of his lips became firmer. He smoothly guided her back to a surface that bumped into her backside. Their lips breaking apart slightly. He used the hand that was cupping the side of her face, to lift her up onto his desk. They brought their mouths back together more hungrily and as they went to deepen the kiss, a buzzer sounded within his office. The disruption made their lips lose contact, forcing them to catch their breath.

They rested their foreheads against each other. "I guess that's my cue to leave," Rey whispered.

Kylo desperately murmured back. "No, please don't go."

Rey reluctantly pulled her head away from him and nodded. A grin danced across his features. He gripped her hips and slid her from the middle of his desk to the side and took a seat on his chair. She stifled a giggle. Her legs dangled in the air, facing towards him, with her back to the door.

"Don't go anywhere." He sternly warned her with a smile. She shyly looked away from him, noticing the cabinet behind his desk that was dented. She wondered what had happened to it.

"Enter," Kylo commanded, as he put up an apathetic mask and leaned back into his chair.

Hux marched into his office with a sour expression. He took in Kylo's relaxed demeanour.

Kylo grunted. "What brings you here General?"

"Emperor Ren. I'm curious, have you received my request? We need to dispatch more officers to search for the Resistance."

Rey clutched the side of the desk. Kylo noticed the tense shift in her posture in his periphery. He badly wanted to reach out to touch her and reassure her that everything was alright. He clasped the edge of the desk next to her fingers, without touching them. The warmth radiating between the two of them. He maintained his glare at Hux. "I have. I was about to send a response. Your request is denied."

"Denied?" Hux spat in disbelief.

Kylo crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't need to look for them when I already know where they are."

Rey was rigid. New questions were swirling around her mind.

Hux was just as perplexed. "You found them?"

Kylo didn't want to elaborate. "Of course, I know where they are. It's of no concern to you."

"No concern to me? I'm the General. It's my job to know." Hux's words were coated in disdain.

"Not this time. My reliable source has revealed their whereabouts to me. I can assure you, now is not the time to act."

"Source? Are you saying that we have someone on the inside?"

"Just leave the Resistance to me." He glanced quickly at Rey. "I will handle them."

"You don't have a source at all, do you? You're doing this for the girl." Hux raised his eyebrows. "The rumours are true, aren't they?"

"Rumours?" Rey queried.

Kylo brushed off the accusation. "I didn't take you to believe idle gossip."

Hux was clenching his fists. "It's not gossip if it's rooted in fact."

"Which rumour are you referring to? She spared me out of compassion, or the one that says I've gone soft, due to my love for her?"

Hux relaxed his hands. "You don't deny it?"

"What is there to deny? My relationship with her is of no consequence to you."

"No consequence? Do you hear yourself? You're allowing your personal feelings to get in the way of _all_ we've accomplished."

"General, there is more at play than you realise. I don't need to explain myself to you."

"You're letting some pretty little scavenger, get under your skin. She's manipulating you and you're letting her."

Rey bit her lip. "He thinks I'm pretty?"

Kylo was doing his best to not lose his composure in front of Rey. He was about to choke Hux into submission. "I'm growing tired of your allegations. I will reveal my plans for the Resistance in due course. We will strike out against them, and you'll be the man to lead the assault. But if you continue to question me, I will have you replaced. Do I make myself clear?"

Hux cleared his throat. "Yes, of course, Emperor." He wearily bowed his head. He didn't like being kept in the dark. Although he knew if they continued arguing, it might lead to his demise. "I will wait for your instruction." He turned on his heels and made a hasty exit.

Kylo stood up and moved in front of Rey, taking hold of her armbands. "I'm sorry about that. The General likes to question my methods at every opportunity. I promise I don't want to strike out at you or the Resistance."

Rey was pondering the conversation she had just heard. "Do you really know where I am?"

He nodded his head. "Yes, I do."

She furrowed her brows. "But how? For how long?"

He released a breath. "I think you've forgotten that I'm the son of rebellion heroes. I grew up on their stories and that included certain details about Rebel bases. The First Order has no idea of my origins and I plan to keep it that way. I like knowing much more than I let on."

She became confused. "But that doesn't explain how you know exactly where I am."

"I've put the pieces together from our force bond. It was easy to figure out our similar day cycles. When I saw the mess hall, it confirmed that you are on a base. It narrowed down the locations you could be occupying. It wasn't until you took me outside, that I realised you're on Rori. There is only one base in the Mid Rim built on a swampy world."

Rey clenched her jaw. "What are you going to do with that information?"

Kylo could see her concern. "I can use it to help you. I will try to stop the First Order from discovering your location, but if you stay, I don't know if I'll be able to protect you. You'll probably get hurt."

His words calmed her. "I know. But at the moment I'm less concerned about our discovery and more worried about our lack of supplies. Our food stores are running low, and it's becoming more difficult to come across intel about the First Order. You seem to be running quite a tight ship."

He smirked. "Tell me what you need and it's yours."

Rey inhaled. "You would do that? Help the Resistance?"

"Yes, but I won't do it for them. I'll do it for you."

She raised her eyebrows. "So, you're saying you would help a pack of murders, traitors and thieves for me?"

"I'd do anything for you. You should know that by now."

She swallowed and gestured to his bloody hand to change the subject. "Are we going to talk about your hand and why it's covered in blood?"

He stated the obvious. "My knuckles met with that cabinet over there." He used his thumb, to point over his shoulder.

"What did the cabinet, do to you? Did it make you mad?" She playfully spoke.

"It was _you_ actually."

"Me?" She exclaimed. "What did I do?"

"It was your emotions. Somehow, I tapped into your anger, and that was the result."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She timidly considered his hand. She went to grab it, and he shifted it out of her reach. "Come on. Don't be a baby. Let me have a look."

The open wounds on his knuckles were still dripping down his fingertips. He looked down at his hand and back at her. She put her palm out to him facing up. "I promise I won't bite."

He couldn't help a grin. He walked over to the bookshelf and collected a small medical case, before bringing it over to her. He parked himself on the desk, placing the kit down, forming a bridge between their laps. He placed his injured hand in her extended one. She softly curled her fingers around it. She thoroughly cleaned the wounds and proceeded to cover them with disinfectant. He was watching her intently, never looking away from her face, even when his injury stung. He was enjoying the subtle changes in her expression, as she concentrated. He wanted to memorise every feature of her beautiful face. She had finished tucking in the edge of the bandage, that now encased most of his hand.

Her eyes unpredictably glazed over. The scenery before her had changed. She was looking at Kylo, but he was sitting on a throne across a large room. It was similar to the one that she had seen Snoke perched on. He smiled at her, as he pushed himself up to stand. He walked down a couple of steps and waited at the top of an aisle. A thin red carpet ran through the middle of the black floor, connecting him to her. As she steps forward, she heard Kylo address the gathered crowd. "All kneel before your Empress." She blinked and was back in Kylo's office.

"Did you see that?" She asked him, as his concerned eyes met hers.

Kylo frowned. "See what?"

She released his hand. "Nothing. I clearly need to get more sleep," she forcefully chuckled.

His gaze was examining her. "It didn't seem like nothing. What did you see? Was it about us?"

She stared back at him, her mind deliberating a way to answer. She didn't want to lie, but she wasn't ready to tell him what she saw either. "Kind of."

"Well, that's vague." He looked down to inspect the hand that she had just finished bandaging. "Thank-you, this is actually quite good." He flexed his hand, opening and closing his fingers. "Where did you learn how to dress a wound so well?"

She automatically responded. "I watched other scavengers as a child. It was important on Jakku to treat your wounds properly. It could mean the difference between life and death." Her attention began straying back to the vision.

Her revelation saddened Kylo. He sometimes forgot how hard her life was growing up. Part of him wanted to learn more, but he knew she was already uneasy and he didn't want to push her any further. A silence had formed between them, they were both deep in thought. Rey abruptly sprung down off the desk. "Kylo, I need to go."

"Kylo?" He was puzzled by the name she addressed him with. "You normally always call me Ben. Are you alright?"

Her eyes snapped up to his face. "It suddenly occurred to me that I never actually asked you. Do you have a preference?"

He knew she was only deflecting his question, but he played along. She had seen something that spooked her, and she obviously needed time to process it. "Ben is fine but only when we're alone. I like the idea that you're the only person in the galaxy, who gets to call me that."

She wasn't paying attention and immediately retorted. "Okay, I'll talk to you later."

Before he had a chance to respond she was gone. Her missing presence left a slight ache in his heart. Things had gone so well between them, he hoped he hadn't done something wrong. He sighed, he wanted to follow her, but he knew that wasn't a good idea. He needed to allow her the opportunity to reach out to him first. Kylo wasn't a patient man, but he would wait for her, no matter how long it took.

Rey opened her eyes and was back on Rori. She was weighed down by more than the heavy air, after her exchange with Kylo. She had seen the shape of her future, it was solid and clear. She would join the First Order and rule at his side. She was distracted by this new epiphany. Maybe this would be her place in all this? Maybe this was her destiny? She instinctively shivered despite the humid atmosphere and proceeded to hug herself. Her hand grasped a moist section on her left arm. When she looked at her palm, she saw the red sheen of Kylo's blood. How symbolic? If she fought against the vision, is this what would happen? Could that mean Kylo's blood would be on her hands? She tightly made a fist. She could feel the darkness, it was calling to her. At that moment, she was willing to pay any price to make sure that he didn't fall. Even if it meant, she had to allow her dark side to rise.


	6. I need you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.” — Leia Organa

Rey had just returned to her room after having a brief shower. She was wrapped in a towel, carrying her dirty clothing. She tossed them in the corner, headed over to her cupboard, collecting fresh underwear and a loose tunic to sleep in. She was finding her attention drawn back to the events of the day. Especially the vision she had. She was playing it on repeat within her mind. Recalling every single detail, she could remember.

Her instincts told her to trust in the force and to let it guide her. This was permitting her to accept that this new vision would eventually come to pass, just as her previous had done before. The images she had received, when she had touched hands with him, across the fire on Ahch-To, revealed a glimpse of their battle against the guards. At the time, she thought it meant that he rejected the darkness and had turned back to the light. Now she knew she was wrong, and she refused to make that same mistake again. She needed to interpret this vision correctly.

She could see the way his face lit up, as he regarded her. His relief, his happiness and above all, his compassion for her. She was seeing the vision through the Empresses eyes. Perhaps, it wasn't her? She couldn't see her face. Rey immediately shook that idea away. No, it had to be her, she wanted it to be her. The way Ben gazed at the Empress like she was the only person who mattered to him in the whole galaxy. She didn't want him to look at anyone else like that. She slipped on her underwear and pulled her tunic up over her head. She stood there, drying her hair with the towel that she had collected back off the floor.

She started thinking about the shattered glass in the mess hall. Her anger, her loss of control. He was right, she did need a teacher. Her thoughts, like always, circled back to Ben. The way he appeared, like a dark knight in shining armour, rescuing her from herself. He had done it when she broke down and wept in front of him, the way he tenderly held her without question. He was always gentle and patient with her. Trying not to push her, always waiting. His unselfish loyalty to her was always on display. He openly shared his dreams with her, never shying away from revealing more of his secrets. More of himself.

She could trace his unconditional support back to Ahch-To when he told her that she's not alone. Following it through to the Supremacy when he killed Snoke, and they faced the Praetorian guards together. He gave it at every opportunity, even when she threw it back in his face. He offered to train her, in response she gave him his scar and abandoned him to die. He presented her the chance to rule the galaxy and she left him alone and unconscious on the floor. Her realisation that she was the one that always left, was difficult to process. She could try to blame her upbringing, the way she had learnt to survive on her own.

But that wasn't true, if it was about survival, she would have taken his hand back in the throne room. She would have left the Resistance to die and she would have allowed herself to look after her own selfish desires. Truthfully, she was running from her darkness. From the part of herself that she had previously refused to acknowledge, the part that Luke had taught her to fear. This vision must be telling her to embrace it. Could she do it, though? Could she embrace the dark side, without losing herself? When she saw Kylo's blood on her hands, she had accepted it. Why was she so afraid now? She exhaled an exaggerated breath. She knew she was over analysing the ramifications of this choice, but she didn't need to choose right now.

The only problem she needed to face, was her lack of knowledge on the force and her unstable powers. There was only one person she knew, who could help her. Previously he had been keen to educate her on the force, but what if he rejected her? No, she couldn't think like that. He wants her, he needs her, and she had felt it. It's the same reason, he consumed her thoughts. He is the only one she can be completely honest with, the only person she has learnt to rely on, learnt to trust. Is that what love is? She didn't have anything to compare it too. She could feel it was more than physical attraction, it was an emotional connection that she didn't want to ignore anymore.

She cast off the towel in her hand and centred herself. She needed to ask him to train her before she lost her nerve. She concentrated on their bond and allowed her surroundings to shift to his. She was standing in front of a large glass window that filled up most of the wall in front of her. The twinkling stars breaking up the vast darkness of space. It stretched out further than her vision could see. She took a couple of minutes to allow her eyes to take in the breathtaking view in front of her.

Kylo felt the instant she had materialised in his room. He studied her from his bed and observed her silhouette carving out a shadow in the normally unobstructed view. He carefully sat himself up and leaned against his bedhead. Moving as silently as possible, in the hope that he didn't disturb her. She was clearly captivated by her new surroundings.

She sighed and spun around. "Ben?" She whispered. "Are you asleep?"

Part of him was curious what she would do, if he didn't answer, he only briefly paused before responding. "Attempting to. I've seen you three times in one day now. How did I ever get so lucky?"

She snorted. "Keeping score, are we?"

"Always." He rolled over swiftly and switched on the light beside the bed. The glare momentarily blinding them.

She locked her stare onto him as her vision adjusted. "Can I ask you something?" She saw he was propped up in a large bed with a dark curved, padded bedframe. The silk ebony sheets were drawn up to his hip, exposing his bare torso.

He inspected her as the light touched her frame. Her hair was wet and swept over the side of one of her shoulders. She wore a light grey tunic and a pair of grey underwear. The rest of her skin was uncovered. He eagerly took in her appearance as he spoke. "Ask me something? Or ask _for_ something?"

She considered his questions and scrunched up her nose. "A little of both I guess."

He snickered. "You don't need to be in such a state of undress to ask me for anything."

She creased her brows. "What?"

He pointed to the lower half of her body. "You're not wearing any pants."

She fleetingly eyeballed towards her feet, glimpsing her naked legs. She met his smug expression and glared. Any creeping embarrassment she felt was abruptly swept away. She wouldn't let him have any power over her. "They're just legs, Ben." She stepped closer to him and crossed her arms over her chest. "Does seeing me in my underwear, make you feel uncomfortable?"

He reluctantly twitched. How did she manage to turn this back on him, so rapidly? He made a point of deliberately scanning from her feet, up her legs and back to her face. "Should it?"

The corner of her mouth curved up at his reaction. "Maybe, or we could consider it a trade. I've seen you without a shirt and now you've seen me without pants. Consider us even."

He deliberated her statement. "I think that's fair." He decided to change the subject. "What brings you back? When you left me before…you were… distracted?"

"Yeah well, you would be too if you saw what I did."

He tilted his head. "And what did you see?"

"I can't tell you." She saw his appearance fall. "Not yet anyway. I need your help first. I wouldn't want my vision to distract you."

He smirked. "I guess that's reasonable. So, you need my help. With what exactly?" Could she mean the Resistance and their lack of supplies? Her powers and their lack of control? He really hoped it was the latter of the two options.

She took a deep breath. "I need your help with the force."

He cocked an eyebrow. "The force?" He copied. "How would you like me to help you with that?" He knew where she was leading, but he didn't want to show his excitement.

"I want you to…" she trailed off. Why was this so difficult to ask for his help? Probably because she didn't want to admit, how much she was struggling with it. "You saw what happened in the mess hall. I'm starting to lose control and I'm worried…"

"You're worried that you might hurt someone," he finished for her.

"Exactly, and you did say that I need a teacher."

He ran a hand through his hair. "What are you asking me, Rey?"

She was starting to get flustered. "You know."

"Do I?" He replied naively like he couldn't possibly know what she was implying.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do I really have to spell it out for you?"

"Come on. Say it. I won't agree to it unless you say it."

"Fine. I need you to teach me."

He clapped his hands together. "Was that so hard?"

"Yes," she glared and pointed at him. "Let me make something very clear. I'm not your Apprentice. You're just going to help me gain some control."

He was beaming now. "Whatever you desire."

"We go as far as I want. I'm not joining the dark side." Not yet anyway, she thought to herself.

"I wouldn't dream of pushing you into anything. But I'm curious, why don't you want to be my Apprentice?"

She swallowed. "An Apprentice implies a professional relationship and I don't want that." She glanced away.

He slightly parted his lips. "Then what kind of relationship do you want?"

"We're not discussing this right now. Do you agree?"

"Agreed." He looked her over again. "We start tomorrow afternoon."

"Good." She stepped forward and lifted the sheet ready to slide in next to him.

"You're not getting into bed with wet hair, are you?"

She's confused. "Yeah, why?"

"You could catch a cold." He jumped out of bed, revealing a pair of loose black pants.

She dropped the sheet. "What are you doing?"

"Getting you to dry your hair." He grasped hold of her hand and dragged her into his bathroom. "Do you know what a hair dryer is?"

"Of, course I do." She bit her lip. "I've never used one."

He chuckled. "Well allow me to demonstrate." He pulled one out of the bottom drawer of his vanity unit.

"Why am I not surprised you own one? Your hair is always perfectly quaffed."

He smiled at her. "You think my hair is perfect?"

She beamed back at him. "Maybe, or I might just have said that to see you smile." She turned her gaze towards their reflection. "I like seeing you smile."

"I enjoy seeing you smile too. Now stand still."

He turned on the hair dryer and air blasted out the end. He put his hand under the stream of air flow and pushed buttons to adjust the temperature. Once he was satisfied that the heat was comfortable, he turned it towards Rey's hair. She watched him work in the mirror. He started from the roots and worked his way to the ends, guiding his fingers gently through the strands. He was holding the dryer with his injured hand and gently untangling the tendrils with his other fingers. He was being vigilant to concentrate on Rey's hair and not her face in the mirror. He could feel her eyes scrutinising him. He moved swiftly and silently. The only noise coming from the hair dryer. This went on for minutes. He switched off the hairdryer and fetched a hairbrush from another draw.

"I want to see something. When I pass this to you. I want to know if you can keep hold of it when I let go."

Holding the bristle end, he passed it to her. Her fingertips clasped the smooth hilt. When he released the brush, it stayed in her hand and she turned it over in fascination.

His voice broke her concentration. "Now do you need me to brush your hair? Or, do you think you can handle it?"

"I can do it." She watched his reflection as he moved to lean against the doorframe, crossing his arms. She proceeded to brush her hair. Once she was finished, she noticed it was still damp.

"It's still wet," she openly observed.

"It takes a couple of goes." He moved over to the bench that he had abandoned the hair dryer on and picked it up.

"You like taking care of me, don't you?"

He looked up at her reflection. "Is that a problem?"

Her eyes met his. "I've never had that before."

"Well get used to it." He looked at the hair dryer and then her. "How about you have a go?" He offered it to her.

She took it and passed back the hairbrush. She turned it back on and he observed her finish drying her hair. Moving in sync with one another. She handed the dryer back and in the same motion, he supplied her the brush and she used it one last time.

"Better?" She said as he abandoned the brush on the counter.

"Much. Now come on. The sooner we get to bed. The sooner we can start your training." She followed him back towards his bed, pausing at the edge. He slipped in and opened the sheet for her to slide in next to him.

"Are these silks?"

"Yes, let me guess. You've never slept on silk sheets before?"

"You know I haven't done a lot of things," she countered.

"True, but we will change that." She snuggled herself into him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Ben?"

"Yes?"

"Do you snore?"

He laughed, the vibrations humming through her ear. "I don't know. It's been a long time since anyone has been in a position to let me know." He pulled her closer. "Do you snore?"

She yawned and mumbled. "No one has been in a position to tell me."

"The honour is all mine then." He kissed the side of her forehead. "Go to sleep and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay." She was already relaxing in his arms and her breaths were levelling out to a steady rhythm. It wasn't long until she was asleep. Her exhales turned into a light snore. He was enjoying the sound she was making. He knew he could get used to sharing his bed with her permanently. He allowed himself to drift off to sleep beside her. It was dreamless and peaceful, for the first time in a long while.


	7. Make me see.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view." - Obi-Wan Kenobi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more of a battle of wills and defining their relationship. I switch between calling him Ben and Kylo because she thinks of him as Ben but sees him as Kylo. If that makes sense.

When Rey woke up she awakened in her own room. It took her a moment to get her bearings. Her sheets felt rough against her skin and the warmth that she felt from Ben's body was gone. She really didn't like waking up without him. She heard a gentle knock on her door.

"Hey Rey, are you awake?" Poe called out.

She grumbled loudly. "I am now."

"Are you decent? Can I come in?" He replied.

"You can come in. I'm still in bed." She made sure her naked legs were still covered before he entered. He closed the door behind him.

"We didn't get a chance to talk after dinner last night." He sat down on the edge of her bed. "So, what happened with you and Kylo Ren?"

Rey stiffened. "What do you mean?" He couldn't possibly know that she shared a bed with him last night.

"The mess hall? The exploding glass? You said you would meditate on it and find out."

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "I did... It wasn't clear... I don't know what happened." She hoped her lie was convincing enough. There was no way she would tell him that she was the real cause of the 'disturbance in the force.'

"Damn. I guess we'll have to find out another way. How about you meet us for breakfast and we can discuss things further?" He lingered a little longer than warranted. Then proceeded to touch the blanket that her legs were hidden under. "You know I don't really know much about this force stuff, but you can talk to me about it. I would love a chance to learn more."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Was he making a move on her? "I'm still learning about it myself."

He tilted his head. "Well, maybe I could help you. We could figure it out _together_."

There was no doubting it now - he was suggesting something more. She didn't think before responding. "What do you mean together?" Her muscles were tensing up. Why was this happening? She was doing her best to not reach out to Ben. How would he feel knowing that Poe was sitting on her bed - in her room alone - propositioning her?

"You know. You and me?"

She needed to shut this down. "You know that's not possible. I need to do this alone."

He grabbed her hand and Rey felt that familiar tug that signalled a connection with Ben. Poe continued speaking. "You don't need to do this alone." She glanced at Kylo before looking back at Poe's hopeful face.

Rey's heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. "What I mean to say is you can't help me."

He gripped her tighter. "I can't help you or you won't let me?"

"I won't do this with you, Poe." She yanked her hand away. "I think you should go."

Kylo was watching the whole scene and remaining as calm as possible. He knew she had pulled him into something but Rey seemed to be handling it herself.

"What's going on with you? I try to get close to you and you pull away. Is there something you're not telling me?" Poe growled in frustration.

"Yes, there is."

Kylo froze but remained silent.

"Tell me," Poe demanded.

"Poe, I'm seeing someone." She was staring down at her hands.

"Literally," Kylo offered.

"For how long?" Poe tried to smoothly probe but his pitch was higher than normal.

"A while," she confirms.

"Do I know him? Is he on the base?"

"I don't really want to get into it with you. He's not on the base presently, but I know he wouldn't like the idea of us being alone in my room right now."

"Damn straight I don't," Kylo huffed.

"Is he out on a mission, right now?" Poe rubbed his chin. "That certainly narrows down the suspects. At least I know it's not Finn."

"Finn? No, not Finn." Rey shook her head in surprise.

"It sounds serious."

"It is," she revealed. "I think I'm in love with him." She held eye contact with Poe while watching Kylo in her periphery.

"What do you mean you think? Shouldn't you know?"

She exhaled. "It's all really complicated right now."

"Does he know how you feel about him? "

"He does. I think he feels the same way about me."

"You haven't asked him?"

She laughed. "How do you bring up a conversation like that?"

"Yeah, you're right. Talking about how you feel isn't easy. Would you like me to talk to him? "

"No! I don't want anyone to know. Can you promise me that this will remain a secret, between us?" She smiled sweetly at him.

"Say no more." Poe stood up. "I hope he knows he's a lucky guy."

"I know," Kylo interjected.

Rey's eyelashes fluttered. "He knows."

"Good. I'll kick his ass if he hurts you." Poe sounded serious despite his jesting demeanour.

Rey shook her head. "That's not necessary. I'll kick it myself."

"True. You already have," Kylo smirked.

Poe chortled. "I'll see you at breakfast." Poe swiftly left Rey's room.

Kylo cleared his throat. "Do mean what you said?"

"Every word. Now if you don't mind. I need to get changed." She threw the blanket off and went over to her clothes that were in the cupboard. He shadowed her movements.

"I think we should talk about this."

"I think you should leave before I start getting naked."

"Come on, Rey. We can't ignore this."

"Fine, suit yourself." She tugged her tunic up overhead with her front to the cupboard. Exposing her naked back and leaving her standing in only her underwear.

His atom's apple bobbed. His eyes took in the newly exposed flesh briefly, before flicking to her expression. She was peering over her shoulder at him. "I'm not leaving. You just pretty much admitted, you're in love with me."

"I said that I think I am." She turned back to the draw and found a stretchy bra, slipping it over her head and then twisted around towards him.

He kept his eyes on her face. "What do you mean you think? You either are or you aren't."

"I don't know what love is. I think I do, but I'm not really sure. I've been alone most of my life. No friends, no family and now I have you." She pulled on a fresh tunic that barely covered her. "What about you? How do you feel about me?" She slipped her fingers into her underwear and slid them down, fetching a new pair out of a draw.

"You know how distracting it is that you're getting changed in front of me?"

She shrugged. "All the good bits are covered." She furrowed her brow. "You didn't answer my question."

"How can I? Your standing in front of me without any underwear on."

"You can't see anything." She poked a finger into his exposed chest with the hand that was clutching the fresh pair of underwear. "I'm guessing you're not wearing anything under your pants."

"That's different and you know it."

"Is it?" She bent down and started putting her underwear on, one leg at a time and then looked up at him. She slid them painfully slow up her legs.

"I know what you're doing." He heard the snap of the underwear on her skin under her tunic and he finally allowed his eyes to look down.

"And what am I doing?" She innocently retorted.

"Distracting me," he confirmed.

"I didn't know I was such a distraction."

"Yes, you do."

"Perhaps, I do. How much of a distraction will I be, when we're living under the same roof?"

He smirked. "When?"

She pulled on a pair of ¾ trousers. "If, when, the same thing."

"No, it's not." He observed the tan ensemble that she was wearing. " _When_ we're living together I will enjoy seeing you in black. Have you ever considered adding it to your wardrobe?"

"You already know supplies are low. I can't spend any money we have on new clothes."

"I could send you some."

"And that's not going to look suspicious. We come across a shipment and a bunch of garments, just so happen to be in my exact size." She rolled her eyes.

"I could include a variety of sizes to cover our tracks. I think you would look incredible in some black attire. I'll even have the First Order logo left off. Just for you."

"Fine. This shipment needs to include a decent toolkit. I don't mind fashioning my own tools, but it would be nice to use something that isn't older than you."

"Tools got it. Anything else?"

"Medical supplies. Particularly bacta patches. I have a couple of cuts that are still struggling to heal. A burn that is still a little tender too."

"I noticed them. The wound on your right shoulder still hadn't healed after a month. The burn on your right upper thigh, I'm guessing carries an interesting story, as well as the cut on the back of your left leg."

"I knew you were checking me out, despite trying to appear like a gentleman, who was keeping his eyes averted."

"I was being a gentleman. I didn't attempt to touch you at all last night, even though I could have."

"Oh, the whole look but don't touch thing. We might need to put that into place during training."

"What about outside of training?"

"We shall see. Now I already mentioned earlier, we need food. We're going to need a lot of it. The number of recruits that have been pouring in of late has been crazy."

"How many recruits, would you say?" He was curious for the food estimation only.

"I don't know. A couple of hundred. I've been keeping my distance, to be honest. They mostly whisper and stare when I walk around the base." She shivered. "It can we quite unnerving."

"That happens to me too," he submitted.

"You're the Emperor. Your height and the fact you're the most feared man in the galaxy wouldn't help either."

"You're the one to talk. The legendary Last Jedi. The beautiful woman, who single handily saved the Resistance. How could they not notice you?"

She bit her lip. "We're quite the pair, aren't we Mr Solo?"

"Definitely... so... how will we define our pairing? You've already said that you won't be my Empress. I'm not your Master and you're not my Apprentice. What will it be then? Will you be my lover, my partner or my wife?"

"You're skipping ahead again. How about partners? Let's see how that goes first. But I would like to use the Solo name if that's alright with you."

He raised his eyebrows. "That normally happens after we're married. Not before."

"I'm getting sick of being called Rey of Jakku. I want a last name too and maybe I could leave that ghastly planet behind. Besides, you're not using it. So why can't I? Nobody will know that I got it from you. I could say it's a tribute to your parents."

"The public would _love_ that. Rey Solo, the Last Jedi of the Resistance."

"It wouldn't be much different if I became the face for your organisation. Rey Solo, Empress of the First Order."

The difference would be the title of _Mrs_ at the beginning."

"So that's the problem, isn't it? Not my use of the name but people knowing where I got it from."

"Rey, you can be a Solo. I would love for you to take on my family name. I would just _prefer_ for it to be done legally."

"If it makes you feel better - I'll marry you."

"What?" He gasped.

"I'm already bound to you by the force. Why not in holy matrimony? It's mostly just a piece of paper anyway."

"No, no, no. It's much more than that. You would be agreeing to be my wife - my family. That's what you would be signing up for. It wouldn't just be taking on my name, you would be deciding to join the Skywalker legacy. Do you really think you're ready for that?"

"Are you? When you asked me to join you, wasn't that what you wanted me to take on? You wanted me to be your Empress and your wife? Are you trying to make me afraid, hoping that I rescind my agreement?" She placed her hands on her hips. "That's not going to happen. You want a wife - I'll give you a wife. If you've changed your mind, just say so."

He wasn't backing down. "Name the time and place and I'll be there."

"Naboo. 4 days," she countered.

He snorted. "Oh, sweetheart that's very precise. What a coincidence that you select the exact same day I'll be in that location."

"I just want to see if you'll weasel your way out of it."

"Weasel my way out of it?" He scoffed. "How do I know you would even turn up? You would probably leave me standing at the altar looking like a fool. You're the one that keeps leaving me. Not the other way around."

She threw her hands in the air. "There it is folks. The cold hard truth. You don't trust me. How could I marry someone that doesn't even trust me?"

"Rey, it's not like that."

Tears were welling in her eyes. "I gave you my heart. I'm betraying the Resistance secrets for you. Did you ever stop to think that I _want_ to be your family?" Tears began falling down her face.

He was watching her carefully. "What are you saying?"

"I have spent every single day since that throne room _obsessing_ about your proposal. Wondering if you just wanted my power or if you wanted _me_. I have regretted that moment since our escape from Crait. I look at the happy couples around me wondering, why didn't I take his hand? Why did I follow my head and not my heart? Why did I let my fear of making that choice lead me to only suffering?"

"Rey, of course, I want you. I've wanted you since before I even saw you - and when I saw you...I felt like I could hope again - like I could finally breathe." He cupped the edge of her face. "If you want this, for real, then I'm all in. I would be honoured to call you my family. Whatever you want. Whether it's a secret or not - I don't care. Whether you become an Empress or not. It doesn't matter - I just want you." She closed her eyes. "Please look at me." He wiped the tears away with his thumbs, she opened her eyes and met his intense gaze. "I love you," he breathed.

Her voice broke. "No one has ever said that to me before."

"Well get used to it, because I do. I. Love. You." He brought his lips possessively to hers. He allowed his tongue to flick over the edge of her bottom lip and she opened her mouth wider to let him in. Their tongues gently slid across each other, exploring the others mouth. The sensation lasting long enough for them to need to break apart, to get some air. His hands had fallen from her jaw to wrap around her shoulders.

It wasn't long until Rey spoke softly. "What happens now?"

"Now, we're going to figure this all out together."

"Together," she agreed.

"I want you to take my name. Effective immediately. Nothing about our relationship has been traditional. Why should we start now? I like the excuse of you honouring my parents."

She nodded. "Our marriage?"

"We can table that discussion for later. I will be your husband eventually. I promise you that - but I won't pressure you into anything else. You'll be my Queen even if the galaxy has no idea. Let's just focus on your training and getting you your supplies." He rubbed the side of her arms. "You go to breakfast while I organise the shipment. Everything will be prepared before our training session tonight. If you need me before then, you know how to find me." He placed a chaste kiss on her lips - It was a sweet and simple gesture. "Have a good day, Rey Solo." He smiled down at her and ended the bond.

Rey respired and shook her head. He had no idea that she had already decided that she would be his Empress. The only thing she had to resolve was how soon would she wait until she claimed her throne.


	8. Lead the way.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When you look at the dark side, careful you must be... for the dark side looks back." - Yoda

Rey had an uneventful day. She had notified Poe and Finn of her intentions of assuming the Solo surname. It went much better than expected, they thought her reasoning for carrying on the legacy for Han and Leia was completely noble. She had spent her day meeting new members and working on the limited number of working ships, they had in their possession. However, one ship was still missing. The Millennium Falcon, it had been taken by Chewbacca back to his homeworld, Kashyyyk to visit his wife Malla, and their son Lumpawaroo.

Rey was shocked to discover that he was not only married, but he had a family of his own that wasn't part of the Resistance. He had been gone for nearly a fortnight, he had left right after Leia had passed. To be honest, she didn't know when he would return if he would want to at all. She couldn't really blame him, he had lost Han, Luke and Leia in a short space of time. He had assured her that he would return. It left her wondering, what would he think of her joining the Solo clan? Would it make him want to come back sooner? She decided that she wouldn't risk contacting him to find out.

She gathered up the Jedi texts and looked around her room. Would she need anything else for her training with Ben? They hadn't really discussed specifics. She was looking forward to sharing the sacred books with him and discover his take on them. She clutched them tightly to her chest and focused on pulling herself to him, through their connection. Her surroundings changed to a large training room. It had padded ebony floors, with high arched ceilings and was furnished with matt black and grey objects. It was the standard colour scheme, she had come to expect from the First Order flagship interior.

She didn't have much time to inspect the space, Kylo Ren's figure caught her eye. He was fighting with his lightsaber, matched against several training robots that were shooting a series of blaster bolts at him. She stood frozen on the spot, admiring how gracefully he moved on his feet. Step, turn, step. He was slicing through the bots with a procession of strength that she never had the change to admire before. The sweat was streaking his brow, clinging to the hairs that framed his face. He deflected a blast that was shot straight at his head, before pivoting and slicing through the robot like it was butter. His attention turned back to the last remaining bot. His advance was momentarily halted by a quick and steady stream of bolts, that threatened to blast the lightsaber from his hands. She could see the strain it was placing on his muscles, the tension flexing through his shoulder blades.

It hadn't escaped her notice that the rippling vibrations were only on display, due to the loose black tank top he was wearing, instead of his normal dark tunics and battle attire. His pants were loose-fitting as well, like his sleeping attire but much thicker and tucked into his regular boots. He grunted in frustration and used the force to slam the bot into the wall, crumpling it into a heap before it plummeted to the floor. He deactivated his blade and swiftly called a rolled-up towel off a nearby shelf to his hand. He clipped his hilt to his belt and turned towards her, wiping the sweat off his face. As he began wiping the back off his neck he huffed, "you're late!" He launched the towel into a basket, beside the shelf. It landed inside, disappearing from her view.

Rey creased her brows. "We didn't exactly set a time to meet."

"That doesn't matter. I expect you here at a reasonable time," he grunted.

"What the hell is your problem? I didn't anticipate a, 'Hi sweetheart, how was your day?' But I do expect to not fend off your grumpy mood, especially when I played no part in creating it."

"Rey... "

"No Ben," she replied with irritation. "I won't be your emotional punching bag. We can train another time when you're in less of a state."

"Please, just wait," he sighed. "I'm sorry. I just… I didn't have a good day. I've been fending off uprisings and I… I wanted to see you sooner."

"You have a funny way of showing it." She walked up to him, stepping through the carnage of the training robots at his feet. "Why don't we start again?" She smiled sweetly at him. "Hi, Ben."

He peered down at her and couldn't help but feel the tug of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "Hi, sweetheart." He tilted his head. "How was your day?"

"Clearly, better than yours," she responded. "Why don't you tell me, what happened today?"

He attempted to deflect her query. "What have you got there?"

She shifted her body sideways. "Nope, you first."

He rolled his eyes. "Is this what my life is going to be like with you now? Always talking about my feelings and my deep dark secrets?"

"Well if you expect to share a bed with me later, then yes."

"I knew you would say that," he exhaled sharply. "You don't know what it's like here. Everywhere I turn, there is someone trying to undermine me. I don't really have anyone I can trust."

"You can trust me," she offered.

"But you're not really here, are you?" He countered.

She felt a slight sting with his words. He was right, she wasn't there, not yet anyway. "What about your General or the Knights of Ren? Why can't you trust them?"

He chuckled forcefully. "My knights appear loyal, but I feel like my second in command is about to challenge me for my position of Master. As for the General, we have never gotten along, if he had it his way he would be Supreme Leader. He still hasn't accepted what I told him happened between us in the throne room."

"Technically, you didn't tell him the truth. I didn't kill Snoke."

"That's beside the point. He should accept what I say without questioning it."

She sighed. "That's not how trust and loyalty work."

"Well, it should be."

She shook her head. "What am I going to do with you Solo?"

He smirked. "Why don't you tell me, what you have there... _Solo_?"

"Oh, I see what you did there. But I'll play along. These are the Jedi texts from Ahch-To?"

"Ahch-To?" He frowned.

She gasped. "I forgot I didn't tell you. Luke was hiding on Ahch-To, on a secluded island that housed a Jedi Temple and these." She lifted them higher in her arms.

"Is that the same island from your dreams?"

"Yes, actually. I can't believe you remember that. That's where I found that cave that I told you about."

"So, how did you end up with them?"

She cleared her throat. "I borrowed them."

"You mean you stole them."

"Does it really matter? Their mine now. Would you like to have a look?"

"As much as I would like to flip through some dusty, old books with you. There are more pressing issues to attend too."

She pressed out her bottom lip forming a pout.

He snickered. "Don't be upset." He ducked down and kissed her bottom lip before drawing back. "We'll get to them later." He collected the texts from her, guided her over to a bench and sat the books down. "I would rather we focus on getting control of your emotions and your abilities first."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."

"Well, that's good. At least it means you didn't try to kill anyone today."

She grimaced. "You're the one to talk."

"Touché. I'll have you know I didn't either. No one has died today by my hand - not yet anyway."

"If you keep talking like that. I may not be able to say the same either."

"Wow, threats of violence and admitting you've stolen from a sacred temple. You're certainly on a roll today - enough stalling." He pointed to a pile of dark clothing further down the bench. "Get dressed."

She looked down at her attire. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

He smiled. "I plan to work you pretty hard and you don't want to be wearing such a thick tunic and pants."

"Fine," she grumbled as she kicked off her boots. "You only want me to change so I can expose myself to you... again."

"I'm not going to lie. That certainly is an advantage."

She yanked her tunic up over her head and wrenched off her pants, thrusting them at his chest. "Next time. I'll make sure that I'm more appropriately dressed then."

"I'll probably ask you to change if you're not wearing black," he truthfully admitted.

"What is it with you and black? Do you own any other colours?"

"Does dark grey count?"

"No."

"Then No."

She thought for a moment. "We might have to change that."

"We shall see. Now hurry up. The longer you stand there in only your undergarments. The less likely we'll end up training."

"Well, we're implementing that no inappropriate touching rule while training, so it shouldn't really matter."

"If you think rules have stopped me before…" (He got really close to her face) "…then you don't really know me very well."

She grasped either side of his cheeks to keep him in place and whispered. "Be a good boy and play along and I'll let you see what's under my undergarments."

He swallowed. "Deal."

"I knew I'd get my way with you," she declared.

"You've got a unique card to play."

"What will happen when that card has been played?"

"They do say a King bows for nobody but his Queen."

She brought her lips closer to ghost over his. "And don't you forget it." She released him and stepped back, grabbing the folded-up tank top and sliding it over her head. She swiftly pulled up the pants and sat down to put her boots back on.

Kylo blinked. He couldn't believe she was so good at seduction. He looked down at her sitting on the bench. "Not those boots." He pointed to a pair of ebony lace-up boots that were to the side, half obscured by the seat. "You're wearing those."

"How do you know my shoe size?"

"From the security footage in the elevator, when we were testing out our force bond. Once we had finished, I checked to see the tape. I deleted the footage but not before I took a copy. It proved useful for scanning your measurements, especially after our recent conversation on supplies."

"I don't know if I should be flattered or creeped out that you know the size of my underwear." She shook her head. "What else did this footage reveal?"

"It showed that you became visible when I was touching you and you were invisible when I wasn't. The part I found most fascinating was that I became less solid when we were transported to your room. Almost like I became a ghost on this side."

"Interesting. That could be useful to know. Do you think that could mean that one of us can transport ourselves to the other side, permanently?"

"We could try that right now if you want."

"No, I'm not coming to you. Not like that. I don't really want to explain to a ship full of your crew, that I popped in to say hello to my partner and I just need a ship to get back to where I came from."

"Or you could just stay here. It would be your ship and your crew too."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Are we back to that? That whole join me and rule the galaxy thing."

He mockingly put his hands up. "I just want you to know that my offer still stands. There will always be a place for you here."

"Trying to tempt me again?"

"Can you really blame me? Is it working?"

"Maybe." She pursed her lips, she was debating on what to say. "Back to training. What are we going to do?"

"Mediate," he stated confidently.

"Mediate? I already know how to do that. How could meditating with you, be different than doing it alone?"

"We're going to feel the dark side."

"What? No, I'm not immersing myself in darkness."

"That's where your problem is. My uncle made you so afraid of your darkness, that you only sparingly use it. When you feel afraid or threatened you tap into it and lose control. If you become more comfortable with it, you'll have nothing to fear. You can use it whenever you want, and it won't consume you when you least expect it."

"How do I know I won't lose control now?" They both made their way to the middle of the room and sunk to the floor, facing each other with crossed legs. The broken training bots had been swept away by cleaning droids, while they had been talking.

"Because you have me. I'll anchor you and help to pull you back."

"You promise?" She weakly mumbled.

"I'll make sure that I don't let go." He offered his forearms to her and she grasped them tentatively, his hands finding the crease of her elbows. "Now I want you to relax. Focus on finding the strength in your emotions. Describe to me what you feel." They both closed their eyes.

She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I feel cold. The darkness is cold. I'm scared. I don't know if I can do this."

"Use it to strengthen you. Breathe, just breathe. I'm right here with you. It won't feel cold if you stop fighting it."

"I feel... I feel a warmth, it's spreading throughout me."

"The more you get used to it, the better it will feel. Tell me what else," he whispered.

She tightened her grip on him causing crescent marks on his arms to form. "It's raw - it's powerful. It's calling to me."

"Keep going," he breathed.

"I feel like I could do anything. Like nothing can touch me - nothing can hurt me."

"Now, come back to me."

She loosened her grip on him and allowed her eyes to open, a shiver went down her spine. "That was different."

"It's not as scary as you thought, is it?"

She allowed her eyes to fall to their interlocked arms, searching for her answer. She noticed the new wounds on his arms. "Did I do that? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."

He shrugged. "It's not the first mark you've left on me and I know it won't be the last."

She playfully pushed him away. "What kind of marks are you expecting from me?"

"The kind I can't show in polite company."

"Careful Ben, we might have to add inappropriate comments to our list of training rules."

"Apologies my lady, it won't happen again."

"My lady? So formal - I like it. What would I be the lady of?"

"You would be Lady Ren. Lady Solo doesn't have the same ring to it. Besides I'm not a Solo here so you wouldn't be either."

"I like being a Solo. Rey Ren sounds weird."

He laughs. "It's just a title. You would still be Rey Solo, but when you're formally addressed - it would be as Empress or Lady Ren."

"It sounds so complicated. What if I wanted to be Empress Rey or Lady Rey?"

"It's up to you really. Personally, I think the title Ren would remind people of me and the Knights of Ren. It confirms that their Empress is a force to be reckoned with."

"I can see that. Lady Ren does have a nice ring to it." She sprung to her feet. "Can we have a quick sparring session before I head back for dinner? Please?"

He climbed up to stand. "How can I deny you when you ask so nicely?"

She bit her lip. "Do you mind if we raise the stakes?"

He watched her curiously. "What would we be playing for?"

"If you win, I become your Empress and if I…"

"Deal," he interrupted.

"You didn't let me finish. You don't know what I was going to say."

"It doesn't matter because I'm going to win."

"You're so sure of yourself. What if I was asking you to join the Resistance?"

He slanted his head. "Were you?"

"No, but now you'll just have to wait and see what I'm playing for."

"It's not to run away into hiding and leave everything behind, is it?"

"Nope."

He smirked. "A child?"

"A child? Why would you think I would trick you into having a child? I'm barely 20. As if we could bring an innocent baby into all this right now."

He frowned. "You're still a teenager? I thought you were a couple of years older than that."

"Is my age really a problem? How old are you?"

"No, not at all. I'm 29. I'm just surprised there are 10 years between us."

She put her hands on her hips. "Honestly, I thought you were a couple of years younger than that."

Concern washed over him. "Is my age a problem?"

"Should it be?"

"No." He answered a little too abruptly. "If it makes you feel any better, it's the same age gap as my parents."

"Really? So, the young princess fell in love with an older, rough around the edges smuggler?"

"Is it much different to us? A young, rough around the edges scavenger fell in love with an older dark prince?"

"I suppose not. Well, your highness, let's get a wriggle on. You don't want to get between me and my food."

"I wouldn't want to do that." He collected two wooden staffs from the side of the wall and threw one to her. She caught it and twirled it around her body in one fluid motion. "Come on Rey, what do you get if you win?"

"A beautiful planet, with a brand-new base and a fleet of modern ships."

He pointed his staff at her. "That's asking for a lot."

"Well if you win - I leave the Resistance, my friends, and publicly announce my support for the First Order. I will become your wife, the Empress and rule at your side. I'd be all in. Isn't that worth it?"

He smiled. "First person to end up flat on their back loses. Any last words before you have no choice, but to join me?"

"No force powers Emperor but otherwise anything else goes."

"You're on, Lady Ren. Let the game begin." They tapped their sticks together and stepped back. "I'm not holding back."

"Neither will I."


	9. First to fall.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The truth is often what we make of it." - Obi-Wan Kenobi

Rey rushed forward, swiping her staff horizontally at Kylo's midsection. He effortlessly knocked it away and guided his own towards her ankles. Before his staff could make contact, she jumped over the shaft and she brought her staff down, towards his head. He blocked her attack and forcefully pushed her back. The clang of their weapons echoed around the room. She visibly stumbled backwards and swiftly regained her composure.

Kylo smirked and they began circling each other. "So, you plan to knock me out?"

"I said anything else goes, didn't I?" She dashed onward again. Putting her weight behind her move, lunging forward, hoping to make contact with his stomach. He moved to the side. She miscalculated the direction he would take. He grabbed the edge of her staff, pulling it towards his chest and her along with it. He locked her into place with his arm up over her shoulder, holding his staff diagonally across her chest. Her back was against his abdomen.

"You know sweetheart. You need to be mindful of your feet," he whispered into her ear. "You step before you lunge."

She thrust her foot down onto his, with the heel of her boot and elbowed his stomach with her left arm. She brought her fist down in one swift motion and he released her in time before she could make contact with his crotch.

He sprung back and chuckled. "Careful of the family jewels love. We're going to need those later."

She spun around and wildly began swiping her rod from side to side. Forcing him to step back in defence. Clang, crack, clang. Became the main sounds that could be heard within the training room. They were moving around each other, crossing their steps, almost as if they were dancing with each other. Moving in sync to a beat that neither of them could hear. Rey broke the rhythm by throwing her staff at him. Releasing her grip on the handle, so it whipped him across the face and fell to the floor.

He shook off the blow. "Wow, you fight dirty."

She catapulted herself towards her staff and scooped it back up. Twisting it around her body then straightening up to face him. "What do you expect? Now, stop playing with me and fight back."

"Alright but you asked for it," he warned her. He rushed forward putting his weight behind his blows.

She began faltering in her steps with every powerful overhead strike. When he swiped at her ankles the edge of his staff made contact and she fell sideways. Her hip smashing against the padded floor. She rolled away before his next assault could force her onto her back. She maintained the grip of her staff, but she was visibly tiring. She knew she had to do something, otherwise, he would overpower her. Their strength was unevenly matched. Without the force, there was no way she could win. His training, his skill was much more refined than hers.

She considered falling to the ground and conceding defeat. Part of her really wanted to. She was already going to join him, but she refused to let his ego win. She knew she would never live it down. She was crouching at this stage and pushed forward with every last bit of strength she had. Launching off her back foot, her staff held high to the side, sailing towards him. She yanked down the front of her top and bra allowing her breast to fall out. His eyesight immediately trained on the exposed flesh.

"No," was all he could growl. Before her body collided with his. Her heel sweeping out the back of his ankle. Her distraction proving effective. Their staffs had been knocked to the side and Kylo had instinctively wrapped his arms around her, absorbing the shock of the floor. Kylo was flat on his back with Rey on top of him. All he could do was hold her close, stabilising his breathing and registering what happened. Seconds had ticked by. "That was a cheap trick," he grumbled into her hair.

Rey couldn't speak her breathing was too laboured. It took several minutes before either of them spoke again. "I'm a scavenger. I was never going to play fair."

A full belly laugh came out of him. "That's my girl." He wrapped her tighter. "How many ships am I ordering?"

She smiled against him and looked up at his face. "I'm getting what I asked for?"

"We had a deal. I can't exactly back out now, especially if I want a rematch."

She stifled a giggle. "You'll be pleased to know, I only want 20 ships."

"Is that all?" He frowned. "I would've given that to you if you just asked me."

"We need this donation to sound believable. We can't let the Resistance get everything handed to them on a silver platter."

He pondered for a moment. "You've really thought about this, haven't you?"

"Of course," she replied.

He exhaled. "Let me guess. You want them all, top of the range?"

She shook her head. "Just basic models. All except mine. I want the best one."

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Just to make it clear. You're wanting 19 basic X-wings and 1 top of the range model, just for you."

"Yep, and I want it to be a different colour. I need to stand out against the other ships. I wouldn't want to have our troops accidentally blowing me out of the sky."

" _Our_ troops?" He hopefully asked.

"Nothing gets past you, does it?" She grinned. "Just because I'm here with the Resistance. Doesn't mean I'm on their side."

"Are you agreeing to join me?"

"In time." She crawled up his body, bringing her face was in line with his. Putting flat palms on the floor either side of his head. His hands found her hips. His fingers sliding under her top, holding her above him.

"You're being vague again," he complained.

She deflected his statement. "Wasn't there more to our little agreement?"

He was studying her face above him. "The planet and base will need planning."

"I know all about waiting. I'm happy with the ships for now. This is a long-term strategy, Emperor." She dropped down to her elbows bringing her face closer to his. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," he breathed without hesitation. "Do you trust me?"

She smiled. "I wouldn't agree to be your wife if I didn't." She inched her mouth closer glancing from his eyes to his lips. She drew back before they could touch. She was about to tell him of her vision but he desperately pulled her down into him. His hands sliding up her back exploring the ridges of her skin. Their lips colliding with each other.

Their eyesight was replaced by an image of Rey. She was wearing a long black ball gown that trailed slightly on the ground behind her. The silky material clung to her figure before flaring out from her waist. Lace encased her arms and shoulders. Her hair had been pulled back into a high bun, with loose wavy tendrils framing her delicate features. She had a lightsaber clipped to the ebony sash that wrapped around her middle. She stopped at the beginning of a red carpet. The gathered crowd all turned to look at her. Kylo's proclamation cut through the silence. "All kneel before your Empress."

Both their eyes flew open and they broke their kiss apart. Kylo was searching her expression for her reaction. He saw relief wash over her. "It is me."

"What in the kriffing hell, is going on here?" A new voice resonated around the room.

Rey casually pushed herself up - carefully keeping her palm on Kylo's chest. Being mindful of remaining in constant contact with him. She brought the knee that was resting in between his thighs, over his leg to kneel beside his hip, mirroring her movements with her other knee. In response to her straddling him, Kylo slowly removed his hands from under her clothing. Allowing them to rest on either side of her hips.

Kylo turned his head to the man that had interrupted them. "Can I help you, General? As you can see, I'm currently preoccupied."

Hux didn't have a response, his jaw flapped open and swiftly closed.

Rey allowed her eyes to wonder over the General with a hungry curiosity. Taking in his crisp dark uniform in stark contrast with his pale skin and flaming red hair. "Your Emperor asked you a question. What's the meaning of this interruption?"

Hux's gaze flicked over to her. Taking in her dishevelled clothing and intimate position. He sharply swallowed, and his eyes fluttered momentarily. He stepped forward will his balled fists at his side. "I don't answer to you," he spat. His eyes fell onto the exposed top curve of her breast. Her tank top was covering her nipple. Why was her skin drawing his attention?

Rey noticed his observation and smirked. "Careful Hux, that's no way to address your future Empress," she playfully responded.

Kylo was watching the exchange intently. He was relishing in her acknowledgement of the title he used in their shared vision. He was acutely aware of the pressure she was placing on his crutch, as she sat back onto his lap. He remained silent despite the response his body involuntarily made.

Rey ground herself into Kylo's lap and felt his hard bulge press into her inner thigh. She paid no attention to the man that she was currently straddling. She kept her eyes trained on Hux and gauged his response to her actions. Growing up, Rey had learnt how to read people very well. It was a survival skill that always came in handy. Hux's reaction was intriguing - was he jealous?

"I can understand your confusion, but that doesn't excuse your blatant _disrespect_ of your ruler." Her voice was laced with a venom. "You can either tell us the reason for your interruption or you can leave - your choice."

Kylo was watching the strong woman, that was pinning him down with astonishment. Not only was she accepting the future they had been shown, she was taking the opportunity to pull Hux into line. She was showing her fierce loyalty and it was to him. He never had that before. He sharply addressed Hux. "You heard her. Now choose."

Hux was frozen in place. He was in the middle of a fight or flight response and he was torn between the appropriate answer. He nervously bit the inside of his cheek and placed his fidgeting hands behind his back. "Forgive me, my Lord. I was under the assumption, that she was the enemy of the First Order."

"Well, you are wrong. You may speak freely in front of her."

"Yes, of course." He bowed his head slightly. "We have received word that an attempt will be made against you, at the trade negotiations on Naboo. The rebel _scum_ is relentless in their tiresome pursuits." He examined Rey and her reaction.

She grunted. "I can't believe they'd betray me like this. Those lying, murdering traitors!" She exclaimed.

"Betray you?" Hux questioned.

"Unlike _you_ , I value his life. I thought I had convinced them to abandon their plan. Clearly, I was wrong." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "The assassins are part of the Royal Guard that protect the Queen. They won't strike until after the trade documents have been signed." She looked down at Kylo, who was still in between her legs. "They plan to catch you off guard during dinner. Your drink will be laced with some type of sedative. When you're struggling under the effects, they will finish you off." She looked back towards Hux. "General, we need someone to infiltrate the kitchen. I want every drink and meal that plans to touch his lips scrutinised."

"Yes, my Lady."

"If something happens to him on Naboo, I will hold you personally responsible. We all know how the last person who crossed me ended up. Have I made myself clear?"

Hux flinched at her casual mention of the execution of Supreme Leader Snoke. "Yes, I understand."

"Good. I want this matter discretely handled. The Resistance cannot know they have a spy in their midst. I'm not ready to abandon my infiltration just yet." She smiled down towards Kylo, before pushing herself off him and standing up. Since she was no longer in contact with him, she disappeared from Hux's view.

What little colour was in Hux's skin drained away, as she blinked out in front of him. "Where did she go?" He nervously bellowed.

Kylo chuckled, springing to his feet. He nonchalantly adjusted himself, to hide the erection that was straining against his pants. He was thankful that he had chosen loose clothing for their workout. He glanced at Rey who was still there, their force bond hadn't ended yet. "She was only a projection General. She was never really here."

"She looked so real. She was touching you."

Kylo responded drily. "I'm not going to explain the inner workings of the force to you."

"She mentioned infiltrating the Resistance. Has she always been an ally? Is this why you've refused to pursue them all these weeks?"

"General, you're skating on thin ice. All you need to know is my Queen will always be on my side. Enough stalling. She gave you an order, I expect you to obey."

"Yes, my Lord." He bowed his head, before straightening up and marching out of the training room.

Kylo turned towards Rey when he was gone. "You saw the vision, didn't you?"

"Yes, but that's not the first time."

Realisation crossed his features. "When you bandaged my hand." It was a statement, not a question.

She nodded. "Last time, I only saw it from your perspective. I wasn't sure it was me."

"Never doubt that I only have eyes for you," he sighed. "You realise you just took responsibility for Snoke's death."

She shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. I haven't admitted the truth to the Resistance either."

He ran his hand through his hair and smiled. "I know you're not ready to join me yet, but I'd like to see you in person. Will you come to Naboo?"

She was distracted by his smile. It was a boyish type of grin. "I think that can be arranged."

"I want you to know, I have a home there. You're welcome anytime. A place you'll be safe. If you want to escape the Resistance or the First Order. You can go there. It's in the name of my grandmother Padme' Amidala. I know you'll find it."

He hurriedly bobbed his head and brought his lips down to hers. They briefly touched. She raised her arms to wrap around his neck. The feel of his mouth disappeared. He was no longer in front of her. She was back in her room.

"Tease," she huffed. She could have sworn she heard him chuckle in her head. She sighed and touched her fingers to her bottom lip. Their situation keeps getting more and more complicated.


	10. Just take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Internal thoughts are in italics.

Rey's eyesight flicked to her outfit. She realised, she was still wearing the dark attire that Kylo had given her. Her eyes searched her room, discovering that her tan clothing and the Jedi texts were now missing. She was internally debating going back and retrieving them when she heard heavy footsteps outside her door.

Poe was calling out her name. "Rey? Rey?" The door to her room began to open. Rey swiftly reacted by using the force to slam it shut.

"Kriff, Poe. I'm getting changed in here. Have you ever heard of privacy?" _That was close. Too close._ She couldn't let him see, what she was wearing.

His desperation could be felt on the other side of the door. "Well, bloody hurry up! We just got intel on a supply shipment that is being moved right now. You have 30 seconds. I'll meet you in the hangar. We can't miss out on this opportunity." She could hear his footsteps disappearing, back from the direction he came. Rey hauled off the boots, pants and top. Shoving them in the bottom of her cupboard. She hurriedly put on the ensemble she wore, when she met Luke. Slipping on the white shirt, grey vest, pants and armbands, pairing it with her brown boots. She flew out the door, holstering the blaster that Han had given her.

She skidded into the hangar. Nearly tripping over BB-8. "Sorry, buddy." She looked up at Poe, who was already in his X-wing doing his pre-flight checks. "What's the plan?" She shouted up at him.

He gestured to another T-65B X-wing, they had found within the Rori base. "Jump into that one and follow me." She glanced over to see another Resistance pilot, she didn't recognise, climbing out. He was wearing a flight jumpsuit. "Your pre-flight checks are complete," the man said. "You're good to go."

She nodded her head. "Thank you." She peered up at Poe again. "Where's my jumpsuit?"

"We don't have time. Just get in," he hollered at her. "Sorry, BB-8. You're going to have to sit this one out." A series of sad beeps escaped the droid and he lowered his head. Rolling away to a safe distance for Poe to take off. It wasn't long until Rey was strapped into the Starfighter and they were both blasting out of the hangar. The comm in her helmet buzzed to life, with Poe's voice. "Solo, come in. Can you read me?"

"Solo, here. I read you loud and clear," Rey chuckled. "You realise that's the first time I've been referred to, by my new call sign."

"I knew you'd love it." You could hear him smiling.

She checked her scanner and saw no other ships following them from their base. "Why is it just us?"

He sighed. "These are the only two fully operational ships left."

"What do you mean?" Her surprise was evident. "We had five that worked only a couple of hours ago."

He was quick to answer. "The canopy on one has jammed. The hyperdrive on another is malfunctioning and the engine of the third, won't even fire up. What I wouldn't give to get a new X-wing," he moaned.

Rey smiled to herself. Little did he know, that a new batch of ships is coming to them soon. "Where are we heading?"

"Takodana. A supply run is moving past there. The intel wasn't clear on a destination."

"We don't need to land there, do we? The last time I stepped foot on that planet, I ended up being held by Kylo Ren." _If only he was holding me right now._ "You wouldn't want me being whisked away by the First Order, do you?" Poe had no idea of the double meaning in her words.

"Oh, shit Rey. I'm so sorry. I didn't even think this planet would hold such painful memories for you."

"Not painful," she tried too sooth him. "More like... life altering."

She couldn't really tell him that she saw her memories differently, since falling for the man beneath the mask. She could only imagine how it looked, being carried delicately by Kylo Ren, while she was unconscious. Finn told her all about the moment they got separated. He had expressed concern as to why Kylo didn't have any of the stormtroopers drag her onto the ship. Rey knew better, he was completely fascinated with her even then and he refused to let another soul touch her. In truth, the only thing that had changed was his feelings had only deepened. He would still kill for her, but she knew that he was more than prepared to die for her now. She had assured Finn that Kylo didn't hurt her, but nobody believed her. They all thought she was trying to suppress horrible memories and it didn't help that Poe had been a recipient of Kylo's mental torture.

Before Leia had passed away, Rey had revealed to her the truth. Not only about the interrogation, but everything. The force bond, her feelings and her son's offer to join him. She couldn't let his mother think that he had attacked her. He wasn't the monster he pretended to be. The revelation had brought the two women closer, before her tragic passing. She had told tales about Ben's youth and even about their family lineage. Knowing about Darth Vader and his fall to the dark side was difficult to hear. It was sad realising that he lost the love of his life, in exchange for power. It made sense to her now, why Ben was afraid that he would never be as strong as him. Deep down she knew, if he was given the choice, he would choose love over power. He would never truly embrace the power of the dark side and become a Sith. His compassionate heart and inner light would see to that, and so would she.

Rey had promised Leia that she would never give up on him. It's part of the reason why she didn't block him out when they had reconnected through the bond. It was Leia's advice to trust in the force and to let it guide her. _What would Leia think now? Would she agree that it's necessary to lie to the Resistance? The end justified the means, didn't it?_ She could only be sure of one thing. Leia approved of her, she said so herself. She only wanted Rey and her son to be happy. She thought it was romantic that two lonely souls were bound forever, by the force. Secretly, Rey knew she was excited over the prospect of their union. Not just bringing Ben back to the light but the eventuality of marriage and children. It was becoming evident that Ben felt the same way - he spoke about his dream of having a family with her. Even when they were training, he seemed pleased with the idea that she might've wanted a child with him. Rey shook her head. She needed to keep her concentration on the game. Children were a future she didn't need to worry about right now.

"What happens when we drop out of hyperspace?" Rey asked Poe.

"It should be relatively easy. The log suggests they are mostly hauling food. They aren't moving weapons, realistically they shouldn't have an entourage. We will threaten them with destruction. Get aboard and bring the loot home. Easy Peazy."

She grumbled. "You make us sound like pirates."

"It's survival of the fittest," he confidently declared. "We can't burn the First Order down without supplies."

"So, we're stealing supplies from the organisation, you hope to bring down?"

"You got it, Solo. Steal from the greedy First Order and give it to the needy Resistance."

"I'm not going to argue with that. You are quite needy." She was only slightly joking.

"Better than being greedy," Poe quipped. They dropped out of hyperspace and were confronted with a medium sized cargo ship. He was correct, there wasn't another ship in sight. "Can you sense how many lifeforms are on board?"

Rey reached out with the force. "There appears to only be two." _Seriously, Ben, you couldn't put more people on board?_

He frowned. "I would've expected more than that. It might be a trap."

"Perhaps..." _Think, Rey, think._ She needed to come up with an excuse quickly. "He could be hoping the supplies get knocked off."

"Why would he want that?" Poe seemed confused.

"Play the innocent victim and hold a public press conference," Rey offered.

"That makes perfect sense." He added to her line of reasoning. "A way to bad mouth the Resistance and get himself noticed." Poe chuckled. "Jokes on him. These supplies will help the Resistance take him down. Let's do this." Poe hailed the transport. "This is General, Poe Dameron of the Resistance. Prepare to be boarded."

"Roger, General Dameron. Can your accompanying ship, please identify itself?" A female voice responded.

Rey took a deep breath. "This is Rey Solo, Jedi of the Resistance."

"Roger, Jedi Solo. You are cleared for landing." A series of side doors opened and they both landed inside. They scrambled out of their ships and started to make their way around the cargo. There was not a single person in sight.

"This is eerie. It's so quiet," Poe whispered. Drawing his blaster and scanning the shadows for movement. "I have a bad feeling about this. Are you sure it's only two?

"Yes, it's fine. They're in the cockpit." She pointed to a door to the side. "That way." She was silently hoping that her bond mate wasn't quietly lurking around the corner. She couldn't sense him, but that didn't mean he wasn't there. He could be blocking her. He was more trained in the ways of the force than her. His presence could mean the end of Poe. Especially since he saw Poe's advances on her, earlier that same morning. She really didn't want to go back to the Resistance, needing to justify his death.

They successfully made it to the cockpit without incident. However, upon arrival, Poe was shot with a blaster bolt from a stormtrooper that was standing to the side. Rey was unfazed by the development. She could sense the soldier's intent before she entered the room. Poe was thrown back against the wall and crumpled in a heap to the floor. She looked down at Poe's unresponsive form. "You didn't kill him, did you?" The question was rhetorical.

A uniformed officer answered. "Of course not, Lady Ren." She bowed low before standing up tall. "The Emperor made it clear that we couldn't harm anyone. Unless it was absolutely necessary."

Rey looked over to the stormtrooper who tilted his helmet, before standing back to attention. She noticed an orange shoulder pauldron that stood out against his white armour. _Is he a leader of some type?_

"You know who I am?" Rey asked. Turning back to face the officer taking in her appearance. She had caramel coloured hair, pulled back into a low bun, under her peaked hat. Her blue eyes sparkled in the low light and her skin was a similar colour to Rey's. She had full lips and a curved nose that hooked down at the end.

"Our Lord briefed us on you, and our mission," the lady chirped in response.

 _She's clearly happy to be here._ "We better make this quick. My companion can't discover my true allegiance." Rey pointed from the soldier to Poe. "Make sure he stays that way. Even if you need to hit him again." She felt slightly guilty over her command, but there was too much at stake.

"Yes, my lady."

The officer stepped forward. "If you'll follow me, please." The lady began walking to a side door and opened it. Signalling for Rey to go first. Rey marched forward and found herself on a glass bridge.

"Who are you?" Rey demanded.

"I'm Captain Parlux," she gently replied. "Emperor Ren thought it was important for you to be briefed on the cargo before it was turned over to you."

Rey nodded. "Proceed." They strolled along the bridge that revealed heavily packed crates below. The same ones that Poe and she had navigated their way through earlier.

"Our Lord has included the food stores that you requested. Under the assumption that the Resistance numbers remain less than three hundred. The stores will last for approximately six months." Rey nodded again. Captain Parlux continued and gestured to the crates as she listed their contents. "There is a crate of twenty toolkits. One for every ship that has been ordered. He wanted me to inform you, that they will be delivered as an anonymous donation in three days. There will be nineteen T-70 X-wings, in the standard colouring of grey with orange accents. Your ship will be a black, T-85 X-wing."

Rey snorted. "I knew he'd make it black," she grinned at the private joke. "Go on."

Parlux smiled at her amusement. "I can assure you, it's going to be beautiful my lady. He wants only the best for his Queen." They continued walking forward. "Can I ask you something?" She swallowed. "Completely off the record."

Rey halted. "You may." _What could she possibly want to know?_

Parlux nervously glanced from side to side, before whispering her question. "Are you and the Emperor already married?"

Rey furrowed her brow but kept her posture friendly. "What makes you ask that?"

Parlux relaxed. "It's just the way he talks about you. He didn't make it clear and it had me wondering. Of course, you don't need to answer." She was beginning to ramble. "If I'm out of line. Just say so."

Rey considered the question. "We've been bound for over a month." _We have been connected by the force for that long._ _This officer didn't need to know specifics. If Ben didn't tell her that piece of information. Then she clearly didn't need to know._ Rey would stick to being vague with her answers. Leaving it open to interpretation.

Parlux was excited by her answer. "Permission to speak freely?"

Rey felt the tug of a smile again. "You can speak freely anytime we're alone," Rey responded. She was starting to really like this woman. Her outgoing nature was becoming infectious.

"If you don't mind me saying so, but your husband is a very intimidating man."

Rey openly giggled. "He certainly has that effect." She found herself wanting to know more about this woman. Maybe she could make friends within the First Order? "What's your first name?"

"Samantha, but my friends call me Sam. You could too if you wish." She shyly glanced away to the cargo below them.

Rey stepped closer. "You can call me Rey." Adding the last part as an afterthought. "But only when we're alone." _Who knows how often that would be?_

Sam bit her lip. "I would like that."

Rey smiled. _Maybe joining the First Order wouldn't be so bad._ "Are you married? In a relationship perhaps?"

She shook her head. "No, my work takes up most of my time."

"So, no children then?" Rey internally scorned herself. _Why would I ask that question? I shouldn't have that on my mind._

"No children," Sam added curiously. "What about you?"

Rey swallowed. "None... as of yet."

"As of yet? Are you and the lord trying?" She gasped. "Are you already expecting?"

"Not at the moment." Rey needed to change the subject quickly. _I should be discussing this with Ben, not her._ "We should continue logging the cargo."

"Sorry, my lady. I love babies and children. I tend to get a little enthusiastic about them." She cleared her throat. "There is a number of medical supplies including bacta patches. He has included a medical droid for your personal use too." She pointed to another crate. "There are multiple sets of clothing all minus the First Order insignia. There is some lingerie too."

"Not the frilly, lacey kind?" Rey interrupted.

"Only practical and comfortable. He didn't want you getting distracted on the battlefield. Your safety is his number one concern."

 _Oh, that's sweet._ "That's all I ordered isn't it?"

"There is a case of alcohol too. Our Emperor has only one request. He doesn't want you to drink too much." She beamed at the next part. "We can't have our Empress making a mess of herself and spilling all her secrets."

Rey shrugged. "I don't drink." _I wouldn't even know what to try._

Sam read her hesitation. "May I suggest the Moscato? It's light and sweet and not as heavy as some of the other liquors. You'll be able to drink more and be less intoxicated."

"Thank you." Rey touched the side of her arm. "That certainly helps."

"You're welcome. We might want to get back before your friend wakes up." They turned around and started to head back to the cockpit. "He's kinda cute," Sam added.

Rey smirked. "He certainly knows it."

Sam laughed. "It's been a pleasure to meet you, Rey."

"The pleasure has been all mine, Sam." Rey suddenly remembered that Sam would need to leave soon. "How will you be getting off this ship?" She asked with concern.

"We'll be taking the escape pod. But not before we shoot some blaster fire around the place. We need to make it seem like you got us to retreat. We wouldn't want the Resistance questioning your loyalty."

They made it back to the cockpit and the soldier was standing over Poe, who was still in the same position.

"Time to go," Sam declared to the soldier. She turned back to Rey. "Until we met again my lady." She bowed low and straightened. The soldier copied her. Sam began shooting some blaster bolts, before disappearing from the room. Rey heard shots in the distance, before the alert for the escape pod sounded. Rey returned to the pilot seat and set a course back to the Resistance. It was an uneventful jump back. It wasn't until Rey had landed back in the hangar on Rori, that Poe twitched awake.

"Welcome home, sleeping beauty. Trust you to sleep while you were on a job," Finn said as he loomed over Poe's face.

Poe was blinking back the effects of being zapped. "Where's Rey?"

Rey answered behind him. "I'm about to head to dinner. Your mission got between me and my food."

Finn chuckled. "Oh, no hangry Rey is here. Everyone run for cover."

"Ha, ha," she retorted. "I'll have you know. I'm more dangerous when I've eaten. It means I'm at my full strength." She made her way to the exit. "Once you boys are finished playing with each other. I expect a full inventory of the cargo. Who knows what hidden treasures we might find?" She darted out of sight.

"Since when did Rey start giving us orders?" Finn asked Poe.


	11. Quite the division

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we can see the separation between Rey and the Resistance. It shows us more of why she has chosen Kylo Ren. I feel like this is her dark survivor side coming out. Alcohol certainly doesn't help the matter either.

Rey had just finished the tray of food in front of her. She looked up to see Rose and Finn making their way over. They took the seats across from her. _Here we go again._

"I bet you'll never guess what we found a crate of," Finn said.

 _They must have found the alcohol._ "Weapons?" Rey innocently offered.

"Nope, try again." He placed his folded hands on the table.

She clasped the edge of her chin, appearing to mull it over. "Stormtrooper armour?"

He smiled. "You're guessing everything we didn't find."

She smirked. "Was is Kylo Ren's porn collection?"

Finn threw his head back and laughed. Rose began giggling beside him. Rey couldn't help but join in on their laughter. Rey shrugged and threw her hands up in defeat. "You said I'd never guess what it was."

"I don't know where you got that idea from missy, but no." He was still chuckling. "We didn't find anything like that."

Rose chimed in. "We found alcohol, dummy." She was beaming as she looked from Finn to Rey.

Rey was smiling back but she was anything happy. She didn't particularly like Rose. She seemed like a nice enough girl to everyone, but her. Ever since her recovery she had stuck to Finn like glue. She was always finding ways to try and put a division between Rey and Finn. Rey knew it was out of jealousy. Not like she had anything to be concerned about. Rey didn't like Finn like that. Rose was always finding ways to question her and even undermine her. It started long before the incident in the mess hall and the exploding glass. _Now she's upgrading to innocently disguised insults._ _Two can play at that game._

Rey leaned forward, faking as much gentleness as she could. "We all aren't as _smart_ as you." _Some of us are smarter._ Rey tucked a hair behind her ear and looked back at Finn. "I haven't tried alcohol before."

Finn was watching Rey intently. "We can change that. Poe's sorting through it now."

Rey shyly looked away. Rose's energy was tense. Rey could sense it. "Is there anything you would recommend?" Rey said. Looking through her lashes to meet his expression. If Rose wasn't going to be friendly, then neither would she. Shamelessly flirting with Finn would be a nice way to show Rose who has the real power here.

You couldn't wipe the smile off Finn's face. "I like whiskey, but we'll need to start you on something a little less strong."

Rey giggled and reached her hand out to him across the table. "With you there, it wouldn't matter what I try." She grasped his hands. "You'll look after me, won't you?"

He gently squeezed back. "Of course, I will."

Rey turned her attention back to Rose. "What about you?" She released Finn. "Do you have a favourite poison?"

Rose cleared her throat. She had been staring at their interlocked hands on the table. Glancing up to meet Rey's eyes. "I like wine. The sweeter, the better."

"I'm sure I'll _like_ what you like." Rey leaned back in her seat. "I'll have to try both," she declared.

Rey reached out and brushed against Rose's mind. Her thoughts were practically screaming. _Both alcohol or both men?_

"It's good to know I have options," Rey replied.

Rose furrowed her brows. _She can't read my thoughts, can she? "_ Maybe our tastes are different?"

"You can only hope," Rey retorted. She was getting a surprising thrill out of messing with Rose. The darkness was rising within her.

Finn was confused over the exchange that was going on but playfully questioned Rose. "You don't want to share the wine, do you Rose?"

"You see straight through me." She playfully swatted at his arm. _I wish you could truly see me._

 _What am I doing?_ Rey pulled back from Rose's mind. She shouldn't be spying on her thoughts. She was lucky, the girl didn't realise how exposed her mind was. _Finn likes Rose. It doesn't matter what I think of her_. "Finn? Why don't you and Rose see if the crate has her favourite drink?" She peeked at Rose. "I may not like it, but I'm willing to give it a go." _Just like you._

Rose sprung to her feet. "That sounds like a great idea." She grabbed Finn's arm and began dragging him away. Rey sighed and smiled. Giving a sarcastic wave to them both, as they left the room. She needed to be more careful. She couldn't have another mess hall incident. She closed her eyes and began to breathe. She placed her hands flat on the table. _In and out._ She focussed on her inner light and letting it spread.

By the time she opened her eyes. The table around her was full of people. Rey didn't realise how long had passed by. Rose and Finn had returned. They had been joined by Poe and Kaydel, or rather Connix, she was mostly referred to by her last name. She was still sporting her two signature blonde buns. _Was it a salute to Leia? She did idolise her._

"Welcome back," Poe chuckled.

"How long was I…"

"Mediating?" He interrupted. "Not very long. We thought we'd let you finish."

Rose piped up. "I got you my favourite wine." She pointed to a glass in front of Rey. "It's Moscato."

 _An olive branch?_ Rey nodded. She was still a little dazed by the loss of time. "Thank-you. I've heard of that before." She picked up the glass taking a little sip. Savouring the bubbles on her tongue before swallowing. Everyone around the table was watching her. "What?" She croaked out.

Finn was beaming. "So, what do you think?"

Rey looked down at her drink. "Oh, the drink? Yes, it's lovely." She took a bigger gulp.

Poe smiled. "After that glass. You're trying some of the good stuff." He pointed to the tumblers in front of himself, Connix and Finn. They contained a caramel coloured liquid. _Whiskey, maybe?_ "You can't just drink lolly water all night."

Connix snorted into her glass. "You can't expect the poor girl to keep up with the rest of us."

Rey downed the rest of her drink. "That sounds like a challenge." She pointed to her glass. "Come on, Poe. I need some of the good stuff."

"Yes, ma'am." He eagerly said as he topped up her glass.

 _I much prefer my lady._ She picked up the drink and took a gulp. The liquor burned as she forced it down. She began coughing to clear her throat. "How is that the good stuff?" She spluttered.

Everyone broke out into fits of laughter. "You'll see," Finn chuckled.

As the night wore on, the group reached varying states of inebriation. They were the only people left in the mess hall now. Rey had switched back to the Moscato after the single glass of whiskey. Sam's advise was rolling around her head. She was slowly nursing her second glass of wine. She felt good. Like a warmth had spread throughout her and her mind was less heavy.

"Hey, Rey? Why don't you show us a trick? Poe leaned forward. "Use the force."

They all began to chant to her in unison. "Use the force. Use the force. Use the force."

Rey raised her hand to silence them. "I'll do it once, but I'm not some trained monkey. You're not getting a full-on show." She summoned a glass from the other side of the room and caught it in her hand. They all erupted in cheers. She lightly chuckled. They needed that. This celebration. This small victory. After all the chaos and loss. She was willing to give that to them. It wasn't long until she was back to observing her friends, they had begun to ignore her again. They were so wrapped up in each other. Only noticing her, when she was using the force. Rose and Finn were giggling over something. Connix and Poe seemed to be whispering something between each other. Connix batting her eyelids and watched Poe's every move. _Would they notice if I left right now?_ She took a deep breath. _Here I am, all alone._

"You're not alone," Kylo's familiar deep voice whispered behind her. "It's time to come to bed love."

Rey closed her eyes and smiled. Downing the remainder of her alcoholic beverage swiftly. "I think I've had enough for tonight." She pushed herself to stand and was manoeuvring around the table.

Poe banged his fist on the table. "Rey!" He bellowed - which caused the group to jump. "You can't leave yet!"

Rey swallowed. "I have a big day tomorrow. A lot of ships to repair and I'd prefer to not be nursing a hangover."

"Don't go," he slurred grabbing hold of her wrist as she went to walk by, dragging her onto his lap.

 _Breathe. Just breathe._ Rey patted him on the head. "Someone has had too much to drink." She undid his hold on her wrist.

"There's enough of me to go around," Poe propositioned. Twisting an arm around her waist.

Rey glanced at Connix, who was frowning. Rose and Finn were still in a fit of laughter.

"If he doesn't let go soon. I will reveal myself to the group," Kylo warned.

"Let go of me, Poe," Rey sternly commanded. "I told you. I'm already seeing someone else."

Poe contritely released her. "He's not exactly here, is he? Does he even exist?"

Rey scrambled to her feet. "I'm not going to dignify _that_ with an answer." She began marching away. "Good night."

"Somebody's uptight. Maybe he's not a decent lay," Poe stated.

Rey was seething. Grinding her teeth and clenching her fists at her side.

"Ignore them," Kylo barked. The anger was rolling off him in waves. He was struggling to take his own advice.

Connix snickered. "Maybe they haven't done the deed yet."

Rey exploded at this. "How dare you!" She spat - waving a finger at Connix. "I'd prefer to be a virgin then spreading my legs for anything and everything!" Rey was shaking. "What I do with my partner is none of your business!" She was so mad. _Breathe. Just Breathe._ She wasn't done - not by a long shot. "That includes you." She stood over Poe. "Just stop! We will _never_ happen! Stop with the touching and the flirty little advances. You're lucky my other half isn't here right now. He'd probably kill you," she laughed at that. _I probably wouldn't stop him either._ She signalled to Connix. "Why don't you screw this one? She's ready and waiting. If you'd just open your kriffing eyes."

She whips around to Rose and Finn. "Don't think you two are getting out of this." They both had stopped laughing at this point. Fear was evident on their faces. "Let me spell it out for you." Pointing between the two of them. "You like her and she likes you. Figure it out and don't bring me into the equation." She threw her hands in the air - yelling at nobody in particular. "Why the hell do I stay with you people?" She stormed out of the room. Kylo quickened his pace after her.

They made it to her room. She slammed the door behind them. She let out a frustrated scream and dropped to her knees. Her face falling into her hands. Kylo sunk to the floor beside her, pulling her to his chest and holding her steady. He concentrated on towing her into his room.

Rey was focusing on the rise and fall of his shoulders - syncing her breathing with his. After a few stable beats, he spoke. "I'm proud of you."

She snorted and dropped her hands from her face. "What for? For telling it like it is?"

"For that … and for not losing control," he specified. She leaned back from him and scrutinised his appearance in disbelief.

"Didn't you just watch that disaster?" She rebutted. "I definitely lost control." She crossed her arms across her chest.

He smirked. "I did." He stood up and strolled to his cupboard. "Did you notice that even though you exploded, nothing else did?"

She pondered his revelation. She hadn't realised how much _control,_ she had practised in that room. _Nobody got injured and nobody was dead._ She narrowed her sight, finally noticing that he was fully dressed. He was even wearing his cape and gloves. "Aren't you meant to be dressed for bed? Why are you still wearing all that?" She indicated up and down his body.

He peeked over his shoulder at her. "I waited up for you." He tugged off his gloves and cape. Throwing them in the corner.

She uncrossed her arms and got up off the floor. "Why would you do that?" Making her way over to stand behind him.

"I thought you might've needed me," he declared. He yanked his tunic up over his head, shaking his hair free. "I couldn't exactly show up wearing just my pants, could I?"

She exhaled. "I think if they saw you fully clothed or half-naked, they still would've been terrified."

"True." He kicked off his boots.

"Thank-you. For being there for me," she expressed.

He grinned. "Always." He unclipped his belt and allowed his trousers to drop to the ground. Her eyesight taking in his black trunks.

"You know how distracting it is that you're getting changed in front of me right now," she sarcastically said.

He laughed. "Where have I heard that before?" He turned and passed her a fresh tunic of his. "You can look as much as you want sweetheart. I've seen just as much of you."

She began removing her own clothing. Kicking off her boots followed closely by her pants. She yanked off her bra, top, vest and armbands slipping on his tunic. Which swam on her looking more like a dress. She looked down at herself and sighed. "I think I might have to leave some clothes here."

He glanced her over. "You look adorable." He gestured to the cupboard. "You do have some clothing here - that whole draw is yours."

She raised her eyebrows. "May I?" She stepped forward.

"Be my guest." He pulled open the drawer and clutched the side. Allowing her to inspect the contents. She discovered her tan tunic and pants were freshly washed and folded inside. As well as another set of dark training clothing. There was a separate set of ebony attire including a tunic, arm wraps, underwear and even socks. "You're welcome to change... but I happen to like what you're wearing."

"Has anyone besides you, ever warn your clothing before?" She inquired.

He smiled. "Just you."

"Well then, the honour is all mine." She glanced him over and put her hands behind her back. "Are you wearing your trucks or sleeping pants tonight?"

"Trunks. I'd actually prefer to sleep naked but I wouldn't want you feeling uncomfortable."

"Quite the gentlemen. You wear whatever you want. I don't mind." She skipped over to the bed. "You might want to hurry up though because I can't climb in without you."

He snorted and walked over to the edge of the bed and touched it. She climbed into it without pausing. He shook his head as she snuggled into the sheets and got comfortable. "What am I going to do with you?"

She leaned back onto his pillow. "Learn to live with me."

He climbed into bed with her without removing his trunks. He knew they would be coming off soon enough but tonight wasn't that night. He pulled her close and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, I can do that."


	12. Still holding on.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is not going to go the way you think." - Luke Skywalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We jump between Kylo and Rey's perspectives a lot in this chapter.

Rey rolled over but no longer found the bed under her. She yelped as her body thudded on the floor.

"Rey?" A female voice outside her door called out. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Rey replied.

"Can I come in?"

Rey sighed. "Be my guest."

Connix made her way into the room shutting the door behind her. She looked at Rey who was pulling herself up off the floor to stand. She furrowed her brows. "What were you doing on the floor?"

"I rolled out of bed," Rey awkwardly laughed. "Some Jedi I'm turning out to be."

Connix smiled. "We can blame the alcohol. It does dull the senses."

"About that.." Rey began.

"Me first," Connix interrupted. "I've been pacing outside your door for a while and I need to get this out." She pointed to Rey's bed. "May I?"

"Of course." Rey openly gestured. They both sat down on it.

Connix placed her hands in her lap, taking a deep breath and exhaling. "I came here to clear the air." She peered up to meet Rey's gaze. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I was out of line. I shouldn't have commented on your sex life and ..."

"No, no, no." Rey grabbed her hands that were fidgeting in her lap. "I'm the one who needs to apologise. I went too far. I was so mad. What I said was horrible." She paused. "I think I took my anger at Poe out on you too. I should never have implied you were easy, or that you and Poe should…"

"It's okay. Let's just agree that we both said things we shouldn't have. Chalk it up to the alcohol," Connix snorted.

Rey smiled. "We can do that."

"I have to ask. Are you actually dating someone, or was that an excuse to avoid Poe's advances?"

"It's true. All of it." Rey bit her lip. "Are we okay now?"

"We're good." Connix looked at Rey's attire. "While we're being honest. Do you mind if I ask what you're wearing?"

Rey glanced down and saw Kylo's tunic. _Oh no!_ "I … It." _How can I explain this?_

Connix could see her hesitation. "You don't have to tell me. It's alright."

"No, I got it from the shipment." Rey forcefully shrugged. "We can't waste supplies."

Connix chuckled. "I suppose we shouldn't. Poe did say they found a heap of dark clothing. Not many people would want to wear it."

"I will," Rey declared. "Wearing black doesn't mean I'm evil."

"Our Jedi would never join the dark side." Connix stood up. "Now that's settled. Poe would like for you to repair the ships in the hangar."

Rey frowned. "You spoke to Poe?"

She nodded. "Since your little outburst, he finally noticed me. I suppose I owe you a thank you."

"Just forget it," Rey quickly rebutted. " _Please_ forget it."

She smirked. "Already done. I'll see you out there." Connix left with a sweet little wave.

Rey bounded over to her cupboard and began searching it for fresh attire. Only finding her training clothing from the previous night and clean undergarments. She brought her palm to her forehead. Most of her clothing wasn't there.

 

* * *

 

Kylo was sitting in his office. He had placed Rey's tan tunic, ¾ pants and boots in the bottom drawer of his desk. After she had disappeared from his bed this morning, he realised she wouldn't have much clothing on her side of the bond. Not unless you count the shipment. But he couldn't count that. There was no way she had packed it away into her room yet. He knew it was a matter of time before she came back in search of some pants. He was in the middle of a heated discussion with Hux. When Rey suddenly appeared next to Hux's shoulder.

"As I said…" Kylo turned his head towards her. His expression softened. "I knew you'd be back."

Hux frowned and looked at the space beside him. "Who are you talking to?"

Kylo raised his hand to silence him. Continuing to watch Rey. "I have something for you." He leaned down and retrieved the clothing from his drawer. He held them out to her.

She stepped forward and grabbed hold of the clothing. Hux flinched when she abruptly appeared.

Rey turned towards the General. "Good morning General."

Hux rolled his eyes. "Of course, it's you."

"Who else?" She innocently replied.

Hux tried to keep his eyes from exploring her frame. It didn't escape his notice that it looked like she was only wearing Kylo's tunic. "What can we do for our Empress today?"

"Just fletching some pants," she smirked. "I left mine here last night." She leaned over the desk towards Kylo.

Kylo didn't look at Hux. "Eyes up General."

Rey saw that Hux straightened up in her Periphery. "I'll leave you boys to it," she grinned.

Kylo let go and she disappeared from Hux's sight.

"Thank you. I'll see you later." She gripped the items closely to her chest. "I'd kiss you, but I wouldn't want the General to faint." She ended the bond.

Kylo smirked and looked up to meet Hux's expression.

Hux shook his head. "Does she have to do that? It's creepy."

"Just be mindful of yourself General. You can never be sure when my Queen is watching you."

Hux visibly swallowed.

"As I was saying…"

 

* * *

 

Rey had spent the first half of her morning repairing two of the X-wings. She hadn't come across Poe, Finn or Rose yet. She had managed to fix the jammed canopy relatively quickly. The starfighter with the malfunctioning hyperdrive had taken most of her time.

"Done," she declared to no one in particular.

"Do you think it's ready for a spin?" Poe's voice appeared behind her.

"I was just about to test it." She pointed at the other X-wing she had fixed earlier. "That one is done too."

Poe ran a hand through his hair. "Would you like some company?"

"Not really," she retorted.

"Come on," he pleaded. "I promise to be on my best behaviour."

She snorted. "Like last night?"

"Look I'm sorry. I don't exactly remember what happened last night. Connix gave me the cliff notes, but it's still all a little fuzzy."

She sighed. "I can put it all behind us if you remember one thing."

"What would that be?"

"We're just friends. Nothing more."

He nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I can accept that."

"Time to jump in that X-wing General and bring BB-8. That little guy was left out last time and it's not fair to leave him behind this time."

He smiled. "Good idea."

It wasn't long until they were all strapped in and ready to depart.

"Where should we go?" Rey queried.

"How about a quick jump to Inusagi? It's a neutral planet. It's only a couple of minutes jump from here."

BB-8 chirped in series of happy beeps.

Rey laughed. "You're right buddy. We will be back in time for lunch. Let's do this."

 

* * *

 

In the airspace above Inusagi. Kylo was standing in the hangar of the Finalizer. He was preparing to join a squadron of TIE Fighters that were conducting a series of dogfighting exercises.

"Your craft is ready my lord." A thin man with a balding head bowed to Kylo.

A series of alarms sounded in the hangar around them. Red lights began flashing.

"Incoming Resistance fighters." A woman's voice announced over the speaker system.

Kylo was washed over with Rey's force signature. "Rey," he gasped.

 

* * *

 

Rey, BB-8 and Poe exited hyperspace. The stars streaking past the windshield disappeared, and the Finalizer propelled into view.

"Blast," Poe shouted. "What the hell are they doing here?"

Rey was washed over with Kylo's force signature. "Ben," she whispered.

Poe wasn't listening. "Solo, we need to split up. I'll meet you back at base. Jump to a few planets first to shake them."

His order jolting her back to focus. "Roger," she replied.

Poe's ship had already disappeared. Rey went to engage hyperspace to jump to Takodana. It was the first planet that sprung to her mind. A red flickering light caught her eye. _Hyperdrive Fail._

"Are you kidding me?" She cried.

TIE Fighters were scrabbling around her. One narrowly missed her wing. They were circling back and her ships warning system was beeping. Alerting her that she had been locked onto. She began evasive manoeuvres.

 

* * *

 

Kylo had already jumped into his TIE Silencer. Flicking the switches to initiate take off. His open channel to the other TIE Fighters was unresponsive. The communication was being directed to the Bridge.

"Ren to Bridge. Disengage immediately," he commanded. His ship lifted off and was screeching out of the hangar.

"Say again?" Hux replied.

"Disengage Immediately. The ship is friendly," he urgently hollered into his comm. "I repeat. The ship is friendly."

Hux calmly inquired. "The ship is friendly?"

"It's Rey!" Kylo growled. "Disengage Immediately!"

 

* * *

 

Rey threw her X-wing into a dive. Her sudden change in trajectory silencing the alarm. Her heart began hammering in her chest. A few beats had passed, and the alert was back. She tilted the ship left, before turning it right and pulling up and over a TIE Fighter that was attempting to box her in. She began a barrel roll and straightened up before a laser skimmed her wing. _No damage._ Multiple targets had locked onto her now. Her eyes glanced around her windshield. Desperately searching for an open space. Everywhere she considered she could see a ship. She was surrounded.

Kylo now had Rey in his sights in the distance. Her X-wing was encircled by TIEs.

"All units fall back," Hux ordered.

Kylo exhaled sharply as the order to disengage was relayed through the system. The TIE's began peeling off. All except one. He could sense the pilot's intent. "No!" Kylo shouted. He fired upon the TIE and it exploded, in a spectacular ball of fire. It was too late. The pilot had already shot at Rey's X-wing. Kylo could only watch as her wing was clipped, throwing her into a dangerous spin.

The intensity of the blast propelled Rey forward. Smashing her head against the control panel. Her helmet cracking open. She was in a daze. Her Starfighter was hurtling uncontrollably towards the planet. The G-Force within her ship was increasing. She could hear the blaring alarms grow faint. She was becoming slack in her restraints and could no longer lift her arms, or even her head. Kylo's voice whispered in her ear, but she couldn't understand what he was saying. Her vision was blurred. Rey's eyes fluttered closed and unconsciousness took hold.

Kylo was calling out to her. "Rey? Can you hear me?" He stretched one of his hands up. He was concentrating on slowing her descent. At the speed she was hurtling towards Inusagi, her ship would certainly detonate. He was flying towards her at the same time as using the force. He could feel that she was unresponsive. Every passing second was stretching out longer. One. Two. Three. His heartbeat was thumping in his ears. As they broke through the atmosphere. The hilly terrain came into view. He managed to stop the spin of her aircraft. Pulling the nose of it up in time. It skidded along the ground. He could see that the landing was rough but he knew that Rey had survived. He swiftly landed his TIE Silencer beside her crashed ship. He leapt out of his aircraft. Rushing over to her and throwing her cockpit open.

Rey was slumped forward, and her damaged helmet had been thrown free from her head in the landing. Her face and hair were matted in blood. It was trickling from a gash that ran diagonally across her forehead and disappeared into her hairline. He leaned in and unclipped her seatbelt. He carefully scooped her up into his arms. Her head slouched lifelessly into the edge of his neck. Smearing her body fluid across his face. The metallic smell overwhelming his senses. His breathing caught in his throat. He was no stranger to the unsettling aroma, but this was different. Knowing that it was Rey that was bleeding made this different. He steadied himself and clutched her closer to his chest. He finally had the woman he loved in his arms again. But this wasn't the reunion he had been expecting.

 

 

 


	13. Please don't leave.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Never tell me the odds!” — Han Solo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all about to understand why relatives aren't allowed in trauma examination rooms with patients. Fun fact: I actually do work in a hospital for a living. The stories I could tell. I couldn't resist putting myself into this story. The banter that happens is a daily occurrence at work. It helps us cope with the things we see. I have made up the characters, but my interactions with them have been real. I have managed to dial down the medical talk, so you can all follow along.

A stormtrooper transport had touched down behind Kylo. He let a mask of calm indifference settle onto his features. He swivelled on his feet carrying Rey towards the ship.

"Take us to the nearest hospital. Notify them of our impending arrival." He barked at the group of soldiers that were standing at attention awaiting his orders. They scrambled on board and we're searching the database for the coordinates to the nearest medical facility.

Kylo laid Rey down onto a padded bench seat just inside. He was pressing his glove firmly over her head wound. She was already looking pale and her breathing was shallow. She was dressed in a Resistance pilot uniform.

He pointed to a stormtrooper to his side. "You."

The trooper flinched. "Yes, my lord."

"Get me a medkit now," Kylo roared.

The soldier speedily followed his order. The ship jolted slightly as it began to take off. When the stormtrooper returned Kylo continued ordering him around. "Use the gauze and apply pressure." He obeyed his command. Kylo's hands found a clip and unfastened it.

"Sir?" The soldier said pulling back his hand from the wound on Rey's head. _What is he doing?_

"Keep applying pressure," Kylo demanded. "We can't let anyone know she's with the Resistance."

The soldier nodded in understanding.

 _Please be wearing more than your underwear._ Kylo thought to himself. He didn't want to expose Rey more than he had to. He needed to search her for any other injuries. He carefully unclipped the belts and unzipped the front of the orange jumpsuit. Revealing her tan tunic and pants underneath. _Good girl._

"What's our ETA?" Kylo hollered to the front of the ship.

"Three minutes. My lord." Came the reply from the pilot.

Kylo delicately pulled off the Resistance Uniform. Taking care to inspect her skin for any new wounds. He had slid it off her shoulders and slowly removed her arms. When he got down to removing the bottom half, he noticed the black lace-up boots he had given her. _Cute._ He undid them and yanked them free. Once she was liberated from the jumpsuit. He tossed it to the side. The most serious wound was located on her head. He found mostly minor scrapes and red marks everywhere else. He knew she would be heavily bruised in the morning. Rey still hadn't regained consciousness. This detail concerned him the most.

The ship halted to a stop on a landing pad. "I want two guards posted at every exit," he commanded. "The girl is not to leave the hospital with anyone but me."

The stormtroopers replied in unison. "Yes, sir."

The ramp beside them began to lower. A hospital response team had a hover bed ready for Rey to be placed on. They assisted in transferring her onto it.

A man wearing a long white coat with mousey brown hair and glasses began firing off questions at Kylo. "How long ago did she lose consciousness?" He was opening Rey's eyelids and shining a light in her eyes to check her pupil reflexes.

Kylo was marching alongside the gurney. "Less than 10 minutes ago," he answered.

"What's her name?"

"Re…" Kylo thought for a moment. "Lady Ren." He didn't want anyone to know she was here. Least of all the Resistance. Using her title seemed the safest option.

The man nodded. "I'm Dr Stephens." He looked back down at Rey. "Lady Ren? Can you hear me?" Rey didn't respond. He placed a finger in her hand. "Squeeze my finger if you can hear me." Again Rey didn't move.

The hospital doors were thrown open and people began scurrying out of the way. For once, it wasn't Kylo or his soldiers that caused them to move. In fact, no one seemed to give Kylo a second glance. It did help that he wasn't wearing his cape and the stormtroopers had not entered the building with the team escorting Rey.

A young woman with kind eyes stepped in front of him when they reached a set of doors. "I'm sorry staff only beyond this point."

Kylo wanted to argue but he knew it wouldn't do him any good. He watched through the circular glass window as Rey disappeared into a room out of sight.

The ladies voice was calm and reassuring. "I know this is difficult, but I have a few questions that need to be answered."

Kylo glanced down and noticed she held a Holopad in her hand. She had her dark hair swept back into a messy bun. She blew a free strand of hair off her face.

"What's your relationship to her?"

He tilted his head. "I'm her partner."

"Are you married? I'm sorry to ask specifics. I just need to know if you're her next of kin."

 _We'll be married soon._ "Yes, I'm her family," he confirmed.

She peered at the screen and back at him. "Do either of you have insurance?"

"I'll be paying privately for her care," he informed her.

"Does she have any allergies?"

"None that I'm aware of." Kylo was thinking about everything he knew about Rey. "She had limited medical care growing up," he revealed. "I don't think she's had any pain relief before."

The lady nodded without looking up. "I'm guessing that means you don't know her blood type."

He shrugged. "No idea."

Any religious beliefs or customs we should be aware of?"

 _She's the Last Jedi of the Resistance._ "Nothing you need to know."

She met Kylo's gaze. "I know this sounds strange, but do you know her weight? It helps us calculate the drug dosage more accurately."

"54 kilograms."

The lady bit her lip. "Is she pregnant? Or do you think she could be?"

"No, I'm confident she's not."

The lady was busy tapping in Kylo's answers when a man with a goatee, dressed in scrubs pushed open the door behind her. "Cris? Dr Stephens wants you."

She peered over her shoulder and nodded before facing Kylo again. "Take this." Cris handed him a towel off a nearby linen shelf. "There's a refresher just around that corner. You'll be able to clean yourself up. We'll update you as soon as we can." She followed the man through the doors in the direction they had taken Rey.

Kylo exhaled and went to the refresher. After locking the door and facing the mirror, he could finally take in his appearance. Blood was splashed across the side of his left cheek from his ear down to the side of his mouth. It had rolled off the edge of his jaw and coated majority of his neck. He moved over to the basin and wet the edge of the towel. He washed off as much of Rey's body fluid as he could, in a quick and steady motion. Once he was done he cleaned off his gloves. The white towel was heavily streaked with red now.

Kylo felt the force shift around him. "Hello, kid." He looked up in the mirror and met the eyes of his uncle. Luke Skywalker was casually leaning against the wall behind him. His aura was bathed in a slight blue glow. He was wearing his Jedi Robes and his arms were crossed across his chest. He looked similar to the projection that Kylo had attempted to fight against. "I told you I'd see you around."

"What are you doing here old man?" Kylo viciously spat. He tossed the towel in his hand onto the basin.

"Ain't it obvious? I'm here for you."

Kylo snorted. "I don't need you."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Still the same I see. I thought your love for the girl would calm you down."

Kylo glared at him. "Don't you dare bring her into this."

Luke smirked. "I knew you couldn't destroy her."

"Enough!" Kylo thundered. He was beginning to shake when he felt a change in Rey. Her signature was weakening. Panic was engulfing her.

"I sense it too," Luke said.

Kylo focused on his bond and shifting his surroundings to hers. Kylo's eyes grew wide to the scene before him. Rey was violently coughing up blood and Cris was rolling her onto her side towards him. The front of her tunic had been cut open and she had been hooked up to a heart monitor. Her heart rate was elevated but the staff around her were calm. The continuous beeping was racing through the monitor.

"Mrs Ren it's going to be okay," Cris called out to the doctor. "Dan, we need to bring her heart rate down."

"Give her 10mg's of Morphine." Dr Stephens instructed, calling out over his shoulder. He was examining a chest x-ray that was on a light-up panel on the wall on the other side of Rey.

"She has a fractured rib. It's pierced her lung." He was mumbling more to himself than to the group. "She's internally bleeding. I need to get in there." His voice reached a louder volume. "Prep for surgery." He instructed the male nurse with the goatee beside him. "Notify her husband." Before the nurse could leave. Rey began seizing. She was clenching her teeth and her muscles were constricting. She was thrashing involuntarily on the bed.

"Shit. Keep her steady..."

Rey's body became slack. Her arm dropped off the bed and the shrill reached a higher pitch, becoming a continuous beep. Kylo was violently ripped away from Rey and brought back to the Refresher. He couldn't breathe. There was a hollow emptiness in his chest. He dropped to his knees trying to register what was happening. A shock jolted through his body. The pain was radiating throughout him. It felt similar to force lightning. It happened again causing his teeth to grind together.

He looked up to see his uncle. Tears were leaking out of Kylo's eyes and down his face. "I can't lose _her,_ " he weakly cried out. "It all means nothing without _her_."

"Reach out with your feelings," Luke smiled. "Your journey with her is not over."

Kylo closed his eyes and focused. When he opened them he saw that Rey was now lying on her back, with Dr Stephens standing over her with paddles in his hands. He saw the doctor exhale. "That was a close one ladies and gentlemen. Let's get her into a theatre." Rey was unconscious again and her heart rate was steady through the heart monitor.

Cris was removing a pair of bloody gloves and tossed them into a yellow bin marked on the side as clinical waste. "I'll let her husband know."

Dr Stephens looked up and met her gaze. "Hurry up. I need my favourite scrub nurse."

"I'm sure you'll survive without me for a few minutes," Cris playfully replied. "Just make sure she does too."

He mockingly saluted her. "Yes, ma'am. I couldn't survive another one of your silent treatment episodes."

She pointed a finger at him. "I'm still mad at you for eating the last chocolate bar."

"In my defence, I thought there was another one left. You normally have more in your secret stash. I promise to shout you lunch to make up for it."

"Deal." She shook her head. "You're lucky I share with you at all."

He flashed a smile at her. "Don't say that. You know you love me."

She smiled back. "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Keep telling yourself that." She disappeared out of the room grabbing the holopad on her way out.

An orderly turned to Dr Stephens. "Are you two..." he trailed off.

Dr Stephens laughed. "Cris and I? No way mate." They began to wheel Rey's bed into the hallway towards the operating theatre. "We've worked together for a very long time. My wife would kill me." He paused. "Come to think of it. If I ever cheated, Cris would kill me too."

Kylo pulled himself back to his surroundings. He was still recovering from the images he had just witnessed. A knock came on the outside of the refresher. Kylo looked around and Luke had disappeared. He threw open the door to be met with Cris standing there.

She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I have an update."

Kylo nodded.

"Your wife has suffered some internal damage. She's stable for now, but we'll need to take her into surgery to repair it."

Kylo nodded again.

"I just need you to sign here to authorise the procedure." She offered him the stylus and turned the holopad to face him.

Kylo signed the screen without reading it. Finding his voice again he asked. "How long should it take?"

"It's hard to say. We won't know more until we get in there." She observed his lip quiver. "Would you like me to notify anyone else that she's here? Another family member perhaps?"

"No, it's just us," he swallowed. "She's my only family." The realisation struck him hard. _She's all I have._

Cris nodded. "We'll do everything we can." She indicated to a hallway to her left. "There's a cafeteria down that way in case your hungry. You will be waiting a while."

He exhaled and nodded. "Thank-you," he whispered.

She gave him a sympathetic look. "You're welcome." She swiftly disappeared back around the corner out of sight.

Kylo ran his hands through his hair and closed his eyes. He could sense Rey's signature in the distance. He was terrified to go into the operating theatre with her. The picture of her lifeless form would haunt him for the rest of his life. He didn't want to add any other images that could torment him. He pulled a communicator out of his pocket. "General?" He growled into the receiver.

"Yes, my lord?" Came Hux's reply.

"Wait an hour and move the fleet into the airspace above Naboo," he directed. He had no doubt that the other pilot would have returned to Rori by now. He couldn't have the Resistance coming and searching for Rey anytime soon.

"Yes, my lord. Is the Empress okay?"

"Don't pretend you care," Kylo snarled. "She'll be fine." _She better be okay._ "My presence is required here for a while. I need my schedule cleared for the remainder of the day."

"Certainly, my lord."

Kylo knew that Hux was being too agreeable and to be honest he didn't really care. Right now, his thoughts were with the only person that mattered to him. Kylo would deal with the First Order and Hux later.

 

* * *

 

Nearly four hours had passed since Rey was taken into surgery. Kylo was back to pacing again. He had tried meditating, but he was struggling to sit still. He had been spending most of his time organising Rey's security and imagining his future with her. It was something that he could control, given the situation he was facing. He made sure that no one else was permitted to visit her and that she would be moved to a private wing when possible. The director of the hospital had notified the staff of who Kylo was and the importance of Rey.

Not many people in the galaxy recognised his face. He was more identified by his mask and his assumed name. He had been keeping an eye on the holonet in case his presence had been leaked to the press. Thankfully nothing had been broadcast so far. He was surprised that the hospital had kept everything confidential. He silently vowed to make sure they would receive a sizable donation. When all of this was over. He was so caught up in his thoughts, that he didn't realise that Cris had returned. She had been attempting to get his attention.

She stepped into his path. "Lord Ren?"

"How is she?" Kylo answered. He automatically halted to a stop.

Cris beamed at him. "You'll be pleased to know she's in recovery now. She's still asleep, but the surgery was a success. If you'll please follow me. I'll take you to her."

Once she had led him to the room and taken him inside, she turned to face him. "We'll give you a moment, but if you need anything we're just outside. When you're ready Dr Stephens would like to go over his plans for her recovery."

Kylo couldn't tear his eyes away from Rey. "Yes, of course," he responded.

The male nurse from earlier had been standing beside Rey. They both bowed before leaving the room.

Kylo noticed that the hospital workers had thoroughly cleaned Rey up. She was no longer covered in blood like the last time he saw her. She looked like an angel. She was still hooked up to a heart monitor, but she was now dressed in a white hospital gown and had a white blanket draped over her. It was drawn up under her bust and a bandage was just visible below. Her head was wrapped as well. Her hair was flowing freely down to her shoulders. It was slightly damp. He crossed the space between them and sat on a stool beside her bed.

He grabbed hold of her hand with both of his and heaved a sigh. "You scared me," he breathed out. "I hope you know that." He focused on the steady beat of her heart and inspected the IV line that hooked her to a saline bag from her opposite hand. "While you were busy dying.." The last word caught in his throat. He closed his eyes and breathed out a shaky breath. "I uh... I." He focused on centring himself. "I saw Skywalker," he divulged to her. He furrowed his brows. "He actually helped me," he scoffed. "Imagine that."

He bit the inside of his cheek nervously. He was watching her face. "I can't lose you," he confessed. He dropped his head. "I need you." He was trying to hold back his tears. "I really do," he whispered. He brought her hand to his lips and tenderly kissed the back of it. "Just come back to me," he sniffed. "Please." He scooted closer and stroked the side of her face. "I'm not strong enough to live in a galaxy where you don't exist." He sealed his eyes shut and shook his head. _I can't think like this. She's going to be fine._ He decided he needed to take a walk. "I need to go see the doctor, but I'll be back as soon as I can," he promised. He kissed her hand again and stood up and left the room to go and see Dr Stephens.

Not long after his departure, Rey's eyes flew open and she attempted to roll out of bed. Cris was standing next to her and gently guided her back down. "Just relax Lady Ren. You're in the hospital."

"Lady Ren?" Rey groaned in confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, the flatline was for drama only and is not medically accurate.


	14. A binding union.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say that we are encouraged to love." - Anakin Skywalker

Cris frowned. "You don't know your name?"

Rey's head was pounding. "That's not my name." A sharp pain went through her chest. Everything was aching. "It's my title." _Only one person would have told her that name._ "Where's Kylo Ren?"

"Your husband?"

 _Husband?_ _What have I forgotten?_ "Yes, where is he?" Rey irritably replied.

"He just stepped out to see the doctor," Cris informed her.

Rey tried to reach out with the force but was struggling to connect with him. Her heart rate began to elevate. "I can't sense him." Rey sat up straight pushing through the pain. "He's not here is he," she proclaimed. _I heard his voice though. He needs me._ She was struggling to feel the force following through her. Her head was spinning. "What have you done to me?" Rey bellowed. She ripped out the IV cannula in the back of her hand. Adrenalin was pumping through her veins. _I need to get out of here._

Cris reached out to Rey. "If you just.."

Rey shoved her away with assistance from the force and threw off the blanket. Cris stumbled backwards. Rey made it to the door and pulled it open. Her legs were already beginning to falter.

 

* * *

 

Kylo had made his way down the hall to meet with the doctor following the signs to his office. Once he was inside the open door, Dr Stephens offered his hand out to Kylo. "Welcome my lord."

Kylo grasped it tightly and gave it a firm shake. "The nurse said you needed to discuss my wife's recovery."

"Yes. Would you like to take a seat?" He signalled to a chair in front of his desk. Kylo nodded and sat down. Dr Stephens closed the door and took a seat as well. "I'd like to start by saying that your wife should make a full recovery. Once she has awoken we will move her to a private room as requested. She will only need to remain here overnight. You can take her home after she has completed a bacta tank treatment in the morning."

Kylo pondered the information. "What about the internal damage? Her external cuts may heal, but what about her lungs or her heart?"

"That will take much longer to heal. Her heart is perfectly fine. It was only her lung that was punctured by her rib. She must remain on bed rest for the next 3 days at least. She needs to take it easy. She could be sore for weeks." Dr Stephens read her chart again. "I did want to mention that although she doesn't appear to be allergic to any medication, she does burn through it at an alarming rate. We had to dose her like she was twice her body weight. It's something you should know in case she ever requires surgery again."

Kylo nodded. "What's her blood type? I will need to know that too."

"A positive."

 _Same as mine._ "Is there anything else?"

"There were a few curious things about her scan results. Although she didn't sustain damage to her lower abdomen it appears that she …"

Kylo stopped listening and shot to his feet. He could sense Rey's distress. "I need to go." Kylo tore out of Dr Stephens office swiftly and marched down to Rey's room. The door was already open, and Rey crashed into his chest. Before she could fall back he grabbed her.

Rey's eyesight was met by a broad ebony chest and leather black gloves clasped her upper arms. Her hands found his forearms. She looked up to meet his eyes. The familiar brown orbs with little amber flakes. _Ben._ "You're really here," she breathed. "I couldn't sense you." Pain radiated through her limbs and her legs buckled.

Kylo caught her weight and scooped her up. "I'm here. Now back to bed with you. The doctor said you need to remain on bed rest." He gently placed her back on the gurney. Kylo turned his head and noticed that Cris had her back pressed against the wall. She was watching the scene and appeared a little intimated by Rey. He glanced at Rey and smirked. "I leave the room for 2 minutes and you're already terrorising the staff." He looked back at Cris. "I apologise on her behalf." Cris nodded and inched her way to the door to join Dr Stephens who had followed him. Kylo inspected Rey who was still staring at him in disbelief that he was actually in the room with her. He tucked her back into bed and turned back to the bewildered staff. "As you were saying, Dr Stephens."

The doctor cleared his throat. "Mrs Ren were relieved that you're awake. I was just informing your husband of your test results."

She smirked. _My husband._ "Proceed."

Before the doctor began talking again, Kylo had opened a gauze packet beside her and was wiping up the blood off the back of her hand.

"Although you should recover from the accident we have discovered an issue. There is no easy way to say this, but there is a problem with your fertility."

Kylo paused the care of her hand and squeezed her fingers. Rey looked down at her hand and then inspected his face. "My fertility?" She queried. She was watching Kylo's face fall. She had no idea what fertility meant. "Is something wrong with me?"

Kylo focused on Rey. "It's going to be okay. We'll face this together." He absently patted the back of her hand.

They both considered the doctor. "The scans show significant damage to your uterus. I'm very sorry but you won't be able to get pregnant."

Kylo could sense the sadness wash over Rey. "Leave us. We need a moment," he ordered firmly.

"Of course." Dr Stephens replied.

The nurse and doctor team left them quickly.

Tears started falling down Rey's face. She was frozen in place registering that she couldn't get pregnant. Kylo threw his leg over the bed to shift himself behind her. His hands clasped over her stomach. He collected a small circular Band-Aid and smoothed it over her broken skin from the cannula. He held her for a couple of minutes before he said anything. "I still love you even though you can't have children."

"I'm so sorry," she sniffed. "I know how much you wanted a family."

"I got you for that." He held her gently and leaned forward and whispered. "You're my family." His lips met the edge of her ear. She leaned back into him and closed her eyes. A comfortable silence fell between them. Rey released a shuttered breath and began to relax. "We do have options," he offered.

"Options?" She echoed.

"We could look into surrogacy or even adoption. I promise when you're ready to become a mother. I'll make it happen."

She smiled. "You do keep your promises to me, don't you? Like when you promised to become my husband."

He snorted. "Technically that still hasn't happened yet."

"Oh, good. At least I didn't forget our secret wedding while I was _sleeping_. Let me guess. You were being vague and left our relationship up to interpretation."

"Something like that," he chuckled. "Is that a problem?"

She groaned from the vibrations through her back. "No," she sighed. "But you're not the only one. I may have lead Captain Parlux to believe that we're already married too."

"Did you now?" He raised his eyebrows. "We might have to hurry up and make it official then."

She tried to remain still. Moving was hurting her. "Do you have any ideas?"

"While you were _sleeping_ I already came up with a solution. We can get married right now. Just you and me."

"How's that possible?"

"A Jedi can marry us."

"But I'm not a real Jedi."

"No, you're not but Ben Solo is."

"Hang on." She got excited by the revelation. "You're a Jedi?"

He wanted to laugh but he knew it would hurt her. "I had completed my last trail before the temple was destroyed. So technically I am." He jokingly added the last bit. "But don't go telling anyone."

"So, I'm going to be married to a Jedi. A real Jedi?"

"No, you'll be married to an Emperor. You'll be married _by_ a Jedi. The paperwork will say that Kylo Ren is married to Rey Solo. The officiant is Ben Solo. Not many people in the galaxy know that Ben Solo and Kylo Ren are the same person."

"You've really thought this through."

"I had nearly four hours to think about it."

An idea sprung in Rey's mind. "Do you have to put today's date as the wedding? Or could you put a previous one?"

"I could put any date. What day did you have in mind?"

"How about the day our bond was formed?" She bit her lip. "I may have made Captain Parlux think we've already been married for that long."

"Do you know how odd that sounds? That we met and were married on the same day. The very same day you gave me my scar."

"Consider it a wedding present," she declared.

He cocked an eyebrow. "You realise how dysfunctional that is. A husband and wife fighting on opposite sides of a war."

"Any more dysfunctional than a mother and son?"

"I suppose not. It does sound like something that belongs in our family. It would solve the issue of what we would do if anyone found out."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"We could play it off that I forced you when you were held on Starkiller. We could make it seem like I was holding Ben Solo hostage and that I made him marry us and then I killed him."

"That does sound like something that Kylo Ren would do." She paused for a moment." But that doesn't solve the problem of how I'm listed as Rey Solo on the certificate."

"That's easy. Ben wrote down his last name to make it official. He gave you his blessing to use his name."

"So, we're going to do this? For real?"

"You're already wearing white. So why not?"

Rey went to giggle and felt a sharp pain again. "Don't make me laugh. It hurts too much. How do we begin?"

"You might want to face me," he whispered.

"Oh." She shifted slowly in between his legs and he assisted her. He clasped both of her hands when she was facing him.

"I'll go first and then you can copy. Rey Solo, I choose to walk this path with you from this day forth as your husband, your bond mate and your best friend. Now you."

"Kylo Ren I choose to walk this path with you from this day forth as your wife, your bond mate and your best friend."

Kylo took a deep breath. "I promise to accept you as both light and dark for better or worse."

"I promise to accept you as both light and dark for better or worse," she smiled.

He beamed back. "I will be faithful, honest and loyal only to you."

"I will be faithful, honest and loyal only to you."

"I will support you unconditionally in this life and the next."

"I will support you unconditionally in this life and the next."

"As Ben Solo, I now pronounce us husband and wife," he declared. "Time to kiss the bride."

Rey stifled a giggle and leaned forward at the same time as Kylo. Their lips gently touched and Rey winced.

He swiftly pulled back. "You okay?"

"It hurts to lean forward."

"Sweetheart it hurts you to breathe. I'll get you some pain relief." He started climbing off the bed.

She pouted. "Don't go."

"I'll be quick." He unclipped his lightsaber and handed it to her. "Will that make you feel better? What's mine is yours now."

She smiled. "A little but I prefer you." She looked down at the lightsaber and back at him. "So, is that it? We're married now?"

"Nearly. I will have the paperwork drawn up and we can sign it before the day it out."

"Don't we normally exchange rings too?"

"We don't exactly have any right now. I'll make sure that I have some organised and we can put them on chains. We can't go walking around publicising our marriage." He tilted his head. "Unless... you don't want to go back to the Resistance."

"I need to go back. It would take too long for one of our soldiers to infiltrate the Resistance and get the security clearance I have. You know that."

"I know. I don't have to like the idea of you going back, but I'll support it."

She gasped painfully. "Speaking of the Resistance. I better get in contact with them before they send a search party."

He waved his hand. "I already handled that. The Finalizer was moved into Naboo's airspace to prevent them from coming for you."

She went to shake her head. The motion making her grunt. "They aren't all there though. Chewie took the Falcon and went back to his home planet."

"I better get you a comm then. We can send the signal to the stormtrooper transport and use the comm-relay to transmit directly to the Resistance. I'm going to need the codes though when I return."

"What's mine is yours," she playfully responded.

"Well Mrs Ren," he smiled. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Try not to terrorise anyone while I'm gone."

She smirked. "I don't think I can promise that. I am Lady Ren after all."


	15. Signed, sealed and delivered.

It had been nearly an hour since Rey had woken up. She had been given a small dose of medication to take the edge off the pain. Kylo insisted that she needed more. He could sense her continued discomfort, but his stubborn little Queen refused to acknowledge that he was right.

He sighed and handed Rey her new comm." It's all set up to transmit. Are you sure you know what you're going to say?" He inquired.

"Have a little faith. I know exactly what to say." She gripped the front of his tunic and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Trust your wife. Now be quiet no matter what I say."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "Yes, love."

She pushed the button. "Solo to base. Can anyone read me?" There was a slight crackle but no response came. She attempted to hail them again. "Solo to base. Can you hear me?"

Poe's desperate voice came through the comm. "Solo? Is this really you?"

"It's me. This transmission may not be safe. I need to be quick."

"Make me believe it's you. Tell me only something that you would know."

"You asked for it," she smirked. "When we were alone in my room you said that we could figure out the force _together_. After last night... I wonder if we were thinking about the same force."

She could hear muffled voices in the background and could just make out Poe grumbling that it was her.

Finn took over the conversation. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm fine. The hyperdrive failed and I couldn't jump out of the battle in time," she explained. "My ship took a hit and I went down."

"We've already called for help," Finn informed her. "He should be at your location soon."

"No, he can't come here. If you're sending who I think you are." Her gaze met Kylo's. "A certain ruler is on the same planet. It's not safe for him." _Chewie can't come here._

Kylo nodded in agreement.

Poe interjected. "Is this the same ruler that I suggested you…?"

"Yes," she cut him off. "I need you to let my intended rescuer know. I'm hiding right now. I found an ally here." She gripped one of Kylo's hands. "He's the one who has helped me send a signal to you."

"We'll let your rescuer know to hold back," Poe responded. "How soon until you can get home?"

_I am home._

Kylo enclosed her hand with his other hand and squeezed.

Rey wished she could hear his thoughts. She was missing the feel of their connection. The familiarity and safety of it all. "I can get a transport back to a planet near to you, but I won't be able to get back for at least three days maybe longer. It depends on when the ruler has moved on. I can hail you when I'm ready to be picked up."

"Sounds like a plan," Poe agreed. "Do you think you can collect any intel on the ruler while you're there?"

Rey flinched at his suggestion and shook her head. _Of course, he wants me to spy on him_. She gritted her teeth and replied. "I can try. I need to go."

"Solo?" Poe breathed out. "Be safe and may the force be with you."

"You too," Rey replied automatically and switched off the comm.

Kylo let go of her hand and began to slowly clap. "Well done. You were very convincing and without knowing the details, you managed to keep that transmission incredibly vague. If Hux was listening there isn't much he could get from that."

"Good," she smiled. "That was the point." She furrowed her brows in thought. "Speaking of Hux...what do you think he's up to?"

"You mean other than he thinks that you're watching his every move?"

"What?" She grinned.

He gave her a cheeky side glance. "I may have made him believe that you can watch him through the force."

She laughed. "Perhaps that will keep him in line."

"We can only hope." He pursed his mouth. "I need to get back and see what that ginger weasel is up to."

"Be quick," she ordered. "I expect a full report, a marriage certificate and a ring by the end of the day."

His mouth tugged up at the corners. "As you command my lady."

"Oh..." A thought occurring to her. "You'll be needing this." She retrieved his lightsaber from under her pillow.

He grasped the hilt she offered out to him. "We're going to have to get you your own."

"Eventually..." she shrugged. "But I don't mind having to borrow yours for now." She released her hold on it. "The sooner you go. The sooner you can come back."

He kept his eyes on the lightsaber. "I don't like leaving you alone."

"I'll be fine. This building is surrounded by stormtroopers. If I need anything I'll call you."

He looked up at her. "You're struggling with the force right now."

"I meant I would contact you on this ancient device called a communicator." She held up the comm to demonstrate her point.

He chuckled. "Oh, that old thing."

"Go on. Get going Lord Ren."

"Before I go." He gently pried her communicator out of her hand. "I'll tune your comm to the leader of the division that's protecting the hospital." He began fiddling with it.

She was enjoying watching him work. "What's his name?"

"JK-2187," he replied without glancing up.

"Isn't that the same numbers as Finn?"

"Yes, he's from the same squadron."

"Does that mean he knows Finn?"

"I doubt it. Many of the stormtroopers have never seen each other without a helmet. You've actually met him before."

She frowned trying to remember the meeting that took place. "When?"

"He was the stormtrooper that I assigned to the cargo ship with Captain Parlux."

 _The one with the orange patch._ "I didn't really talk to him much on the ship." _I'll have to change that._

"All done." He passed the comm back to her and slid off her bed.

"Wait." She grabbed his hand as he stood up. "There's something I need to tell you before you go."

He turned his head back to her.

She gripped his fingers firmly. "I know what you said to me when I was unconscious. I heard every word." Her eyes were searching his face for his reaction. "I just want you to know that I love you... I really do and I need you as well."

He smiled and bent down, brushing his lips against hers. "I know. I love you too."

"I'm sorry I scared you," she whispered when he drew back from the fleeting kiss. "I'll attempt to be more careful."

"I can only ask you to try." He stood up and made his way to the door. "I'll come back for you soon, sweetheart. I promise."

 

* * *

 

Kylo had been gone for a few hours. Rey had nearly finished eating her meal and was savouring the last mouthful of her ice-cream. With the spoon still hanging out of her mouth, she was sitting in her bed flicking through the holonet. She had landed on a news report.

A pretty older lady with short blonde hair in a red blouse was talking on the screen. "Sources say that Emperor Ren was spotted leaving a hospital on Insuagi. We have unconfirmed reports that stormtroopers have remained behind. What business would he have at a hospital? Is something wrong with our Lord? We'll keep you up to date on this new development."

Rey dropped the spoon and scooped up her comm. "JK-2187?" She politely hailed the soldier.

"Yes, my lady?" Came the professional reply.

"Have any reporters made an appearance outside of the hospital?"

"No, my lady. Nothing so far."

"If they do. Please make sure they don't enter the building and that you notify Lord Ren immediately."

"Of course, my lady."

Rey put the comm back down on her bedside table. The room she had been moved into was a private area of the hospital for VIP patients. It was modelled like a real bedroom instead of a sterile hospital room. The bed was much more comfortable and twice as big (enough to accommodate another person). It was styled with white linen which was broken up by light wooden furniture instead of steel. The only reminder that confirmed she was in a hospital was the heart monitor that was steadily beeping beside her.

She switched off the holonet and huffed in frustration. She was so bored. Sitting around in a hospital bed for hours was no fun. It wasn't the waiting that bothered her, she knew all about that. It was the lack of anything to do. At least on Jakku she had a distraction and scavenging for scraps kept her busy. Even with the Resistance, she had starships to repair and fly. She needed to do something.

_That's it! I need to mediate._

She crossed her legs on her bed and closed her eyes. She found herself breathing deeply and steadying herself. She began flexing her mind and reaching out with her feelings. It took a while for her to even sense her own force signature. Once she could see herself, she could start to see her surroundings. She could feel the bustling activity throughout the hospital. She could hear the wail of a new life that had just entered the world only a couple of floors below her. A man on the same ward had just taken his last breath and died only a few doors away. She could feel the warmth of the heat lamp in the operating theatre and the cold steel of an instrument trolley. Her head began throbbing with the effort.

"That doesn't look like bed rest," Kylo's voice broke through her concentration.

Rey's heart monitor elevated slightly as she jumped, and her eyes flew open. "Blast Ben. You scared me." She clutched at her chest and took a deep breath. "Don't do that. I might have to put a bell on you," she grumbled.

When they locked eyes, she noticed he was wearing more elaborate clothing than she had last seen him in earlier. His new tunic was now embroidered with hints of silver as well as his belt and the interior lining of his cape. He had his helmet tucked under his arm and his hair was no longer a dishevelled mess. He was clutching a holopad in one of his leather gloved hands. He looked good.

 _Kriff, he's hot._ She sat up straighter when she realised that she couldn't sense him until he had spoken. "I didn't sense you," she frowned.

He smirked at her internal assessment. "I was blocking my signature. I'll show you later." He moved out of the doorway and sat down on the edge of her bed. "You're meant to be taking it easy." He abandoned his helmet next to him. "You shouldn't be using the force."

She fidgeted with the edge of her blanket. "I was only meditating."

"That's too much strain on your body while you're meant to be healing." He attempted to lighten the mood. "If you continue... I might just have to force you to sleep."

"You're not using the force on me," she grunted. "That wasn't a very restful sleep last time. It felt weird."

"I meant I would get you sedated..." He paused for a moment pondering her assumption. "...but your idea could work too."

She playfully rolled her eyes and decided to change the subject. "What are you wearing?" She pointed to the helmet he had placed at her feet. "I thought you stopped wearing that awful mask."

"As far as anyone is concerned I'm here on official business."

Rey tilted her head in confusion.

He continued. "Since the galaxy knows me as this..." he tapped the helmet. "I thought it was time for them to see the man behind the mask. The people need to actually see their Emperor and know who's ruling them."

"Why would you make an announcement like this at a hospital?"

"I'm making a donation to the hospital and using it as the cover for making a public appearance. I'm sure you've seen the reports." She nodded. "It's a way to give the press a story but one that is cut off at the knees. Before anyone starts digging around and finds out about you."

She exhaled. "Makes sense I guess. How soon until you make your big debut?"

"I have to get to the press conference shortly, but there is something we need to do first." He lifted the holopad up. "As requested my Queen. Our marriage certificate."

He turned the holopad towards her and she started looking over the details. She noticed that he had already signed his parts. Without wasting any more time she unclipped the stylus off the side and signed her name. She hadn't had many opportunities to sign her name officially, but she attempted to make it as cursive as she could.

"Both your signatures are so much better than mine," she whined.

"I've had a lot of practice but don't worry, you will too." He put his hand in the pocket of his pants. "I haven't even got to the best bit yet."

He pulled a box out and opened it. Inside it was two rings.

She peered down at them. "Ben they are…I mean... wow." She couldn't put into words how blown away she was over his choice.

He chuckled. "I'm glad you like them." He picked up her ring. "May I?" He gestured to her finger.

She nodded. He slid the ring on her finger and it fit perfectly. She brought her hand closer to her face to inspect the ring. It was a silver colour and it had a black pattern etched into the band that encircled her entire finger. She turned her hand over. It looked like interwoven vines dancing around each other. She used her opposite hand to feel the band and discovered it was completely sealed and smooth.

"I was going to put diamonds in it, but I know that you keep busy with your hands and you like to fix things. I'm hoping that one day we won't have to hide our union and you would proudly wear it... without it impacting on what you enjoy doing."

"It's perfect. Who knew Kylo Ren could be so thoughtful?"

"Shhh…" He smiled and brought his pointer to his lips. "You'll destroy my reputation." He slid off his glove. "Now it's your turn."

She picked up his ring. Which was only a larger and thicker version of her ring and slid it onto his finger. "I know you said that you would wear yours on a chain too, but I'd feel better knowing that it was hidden under your glove at all times."

"As you wish my Queen. I guess... I'll just have to settle knowing that you'll be wearing yours close to your heart."

"You really are a hopeless romantic, aren't you?"

"Can you blame me?" He shrugged. "When I've got a woman of your calibre on my arm."

She snorted. "Says prince charming." She playfully pushed him away. "You're way too sweet for the most feared man in the galaxy."

"Only to you." He pulled her in gently for a chaste kiss. "Now, how's your head?"

"Good I think," she replied. "They changed the bandage and bacta patch before."

He glided his fingers over the edge of her bandage and down the side of her face. "Hopefully it won't leave a scar."

"I don't know... some scars can be quite endearing."

He tilted his head. "Now who's being sweet."

"Or just bias. I rather like that I left my mark on you."

"In more ways than one." His comm buzzed and he rolled his eyes. "What is it?" He barked into the receiver.

"The press is ready my lord." Kylo turned back to Rey.

"Go ahead," she beamed. "Duty calls."

He shook his head. "I don't deserve you." He pushed the button. "I'll be right out." He stood up and straightened himself. She picked up his discarded glove off her bed and offered it out to him. "One day you'll be standing next to me at one of these events," he affirmed. He took the glove and slipped it on.

She smiled at him. "Maybe."

"We both know when you say maybe that it means yes."

"You know me too well."

He opened his arms out to her. "How do I look?"

"Like a dashing Emperor ready to show his face to the galaxy," she declared.

He smiled. "I look forward to the day when my Empress does the same." He picked up the helmet and fastened it over his head.

She shook her head. "That mask still creeps me out."

"That was the idea," his modulated voice replied. "Let's hope this is the last time." His comm buzzed again. "I'm sorry love I need to go." He pivoted on his heels and briskly marched out of her room without sparing a glance back.

Not long after he left Rey picked up her comm with an idea forming in her head. "JK-2187?"

"Yes, my lady?"

"I want you in here," she simpered.

"Is everything alright?"

"Find some scrubs for yourself and bring a wheelchair to my room." He couldn't see how pleased she was with her plan. "I need to be in the crowd when our Lord finally shows his face."


	16. Show yourself.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “An object cannot make you good or evil. The temptation of power, forbidden knowledge, even the desire to do good can lead some down that path. But only you can change yourself.” — Bendu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get to see that certain individuals know more than they appear to. Unfortunately, Kylo and Rey are reminded that people are conspiring against them.

JK-2187 had just emerged from Rey's bathroom in the blue scrubs he had commandeered. The first thing Rey noticed about him was his striking green eyes. They were warm, inviting and the colour of moss. She beheld the rest of his exterior which included short sandy blonde hair and a natural sun-kissed olive complexion that was flawless. He was a handsome man and surprisingly he didn't even know it.

She dropped her gaze and he silently moved behind her to tuck his blaster in the back fold of her wheelchair. She could sense his nerves at being seen without his armour.

"You're the second stormtrooper I've seen without a mask now."

He snapped his head up. "Are you referring to FN-2187 my lady?"

"Yes, I am." She peeked over her shoulder at him. "Do you know him?"

He was pushing her out of her room towards the turbolift. "I know _of_ him, my lady." He inspected the hall before he lowered his voice and continued. "We were assigned to the same squadron, but I didn't grow up with him. He's several years younger than I am."

Rey found herself whispering too even though she could sense no one was near enough to hear them. "Kylo mentioned you've probably never seen each other without a helmet on."

"That's correct my lady."

The door to the empty turbolift opened and they made their way inside. "How's that possible?"

"As children, we are given our designations and assigned to particular squadrons. Only when we come of age and complete our training do we join the front-line battles. It was his first mission when he defected, but it wasn't mine." The door whizzed close behind them and they made their descent to the ground floor as he clarified. "We can only remove out helmets when we're advised to which mostly occurs when we're off duty. I didn't get the opportunity to officially meet him, my lady."

"Can you stop saying, my lady? Rey griped. "I would prefer us to drop the formalities when we're alone."

"Of course." He relaxed a little. "Permission to speak freely?"

"Go ahead."

He expelled a breath. "Why is it so important for you to be in the crowd when our Lord reveals his face?"

"Watching it on the holonet would not be the same," she replied. "I want to hear the reactions first hand when people discover he's not a disfigured monster below the mask."

JK-2187 was attempting to understand. "Are you wanting to know what the people think of him?"

"I need to know for my own reasons." _If they accept him. Maybe they'll accept me._ "Now, JK-2187 is there something shorter I can call you? Your designation is a mouthful." She allowed a subtle smile to creep across her face.

He seemed more at ease around her with every passing second. "JK is fine."

The automatic door opened to the foyer of the hospital and she could observe a large crowd forming outside. She could see hundreds and hundreds of creatures and humanoids. The excitement was like a free-flowing current. It hit Rey all at once. Leading her to let out an audible gasp.

"Are you alright?" JK asked with genuine concern.

She nodded. "I didn't realise there would be this much..." _people, emotions._ "… of a reception." They joined the line that was filtering outside.

"It's one thing to know of someone but another to put a face to a name." Once they had stopped off to the side, he leaned down and whispered to her. "They're eager to see who your husband truly is."

She turned her face towards him slightly. "How did you know?"

He flashed a dashing smile in response. "The ring gives you away."

Rey's attention was then drawn to her left hand where her wedding band was still snuggly fit on her finger. Before she had a chance to respond she heard a female's voice she didn't recognise address the crowd.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome you all here for a momentous occasion."

 

* * *

 

Kylo had marched through the halls of the hospital and made it back to the conference room. The administration had elected to use it as a private waiting room for the Emperor and the General. Hux was leaning against the one-way window that looked out over the courtyard that housed a newly erected stage. He was watching the large crowd form with members of the press filling out the multiple rows of seating before the podium. He pushed off the glass when Kylo entered.

Hux acknowledged Kylo's presence once the door had shut. "Are you ready for this?"

"Are you?" Kylo's voice came through his helmet.

"Of course, I am. I was born to give speeches," Hux snorted in response. "Will the Empress be making an appearance?"

"Now's not the time to overwhelm the galaxy with her existence." Kylo surveyed the room and noticed that a certain stormtrooper was absent. "Where's JK-2187?"

"Your wife called him away," Hux smugly replied.

 _He knows!_ "My wife?" Kylo smoothly queried.

"Don't play coy. I was notified the moment the certificate was lodged," Hux smirked. "I was surprised that you put the date that Starkiller was destroyed... but each to their own. I'm curious... where have you been stashing Ben Solo?"

"It doesn't matter now that he's dead," Kylo retorted. "I killed him... just like his father." Kylo was thankful that he was revealing this information while wearing his mask. There was no way he kept his face neutral even though he managed to keep his tone level.

"Why am I not surprised?" Hux grumbled. "You missed the opportunity of a public execution."

"Hosnian was enough. We don't need to show the galaxy the power of the First Order. They already know."

A knock interrupted them and the door slightly opened. "They're ready for you General Hux."

Hux smoothed his gelled hair and nodded to the man who had peered into the room. Hux went to follow him and turned back to Kylo. "Continuing to display our power will keep them in line. We cannot show weakness."

"Inciting fear is not power." _Why did I say that? Rey's thoughts must be influencing me._ "If we continue down that path it will only lead to further rebellion."

"Fear is power," Hux scoffed. "Don't let your personal interests make you think any different." Hux left without a backwards glace.

Kylo exhaled slowly. Sadly, Hux was right. Fear is a path to the dark side and Kylo certainly knows it's power. Again, he was conflicted. He knew that even though he held the position of Emperor now, it may not last. Fear was a powerful motivator and death was often a necessary evil. It got him into the title he now held. Plenty of people had lost their lives to lead him to this point in his life. _But at what cost?_ His master's death was welcome, but the loss of every blood relation he held dear. His mother, his father, his uncle. For all their differences and beneath the anger and hostility. He loved them. How could he not? They were his family. He may not have chosen them, but he got them all the same.

Which lead him to Rey - his little ray of light - his beautiful wife. The last surviving family member he had left. She's the only person in the whole galaxy who can still see the good in him. She has accepted his mistakes and doesn't hold them against him. She loves him. _Him_.

_Kylo Ren - The Dark Emperor - The Jedi Killer._

_How the kriff did that happen?_ Clearly, she fell for his other half first.

_Ben Solo - The Last Skywalker - The Jedi._

The son of Han Solo and Leia Organa. The light part of himself that is gentle with her. That wants to be her teacher. The man that answered her call and soothed the aching parts of her lonely heart. That was who she fell for and yet she married herself willingly to Kylo Ren too. That's why he needs to make this change. He wants to try to be better for her. His knee-jerk reaction cannot be to kill everyone in his path. He needs to find another way.

That's why he's choosing to show his face and step out from the shadows and into the light. Hopefully, people won't be afraid of him anymore. He wants to be the best version of himself. Only he can make that choice. It wasn't up to Rey to save him - he needed to do that himself. He was consumed by his inner musings when the same man from earlier had returned.

"It's time Emperor."

_He's right. It is time._

 

* * *

 

Rey tuned out during Hux's long-winded speech. He had waffled on about the Resistance being a 'terrorist organisation'. 'Their blatant theft of supplies cannot be tolerated' - something about 'consequences.' She wasn't really paying attention. His voice was like nails on a chalkboard in comparison to Ben's. There were multiple people who clapped and fawned at the appropriate moments. The energy, for the most part, seemed positive.

As she scanned the crowd she found the occasional scowl and clenched fist. They didn't like the man that was on stage. But who could blame them? Her feelings were mutual. Brushing against their minds revealed most of their hostility was due to the destruction of the planet Hosnian. _I promise he's going to pay for what he did._ She vowed to them without their knowledge. _I'll kill him if I have to._

She took notice when he began the introduction that she had patiently been waiting for.

"Without further ado. May I present our Emperor… _the mighty_ Kylo Ren."

Rey bared her teeth. _That sounded like an insult._

Hux knitted his brows and adjusted his collar on stage as he stepped away from the podium. Rey took a deep breath when she felt her husband coming closer and Hux visibly relaxed again.

 _Did I do that?_ Rey could feel Ben long before she saw his masked figure step out onto the stage to a thunderous applause. _So far so good._

Hux turned his head to Kylo and Rey could see the subtle turn of his helmet to watch Hux as he passed by. An unspoken accusation passing between the two.

 _I knew you couldn't stay away._ Kylo's velvety voice spoke into her mind with amusement. He stepped up to the microphone with his face still hidden by his mask. She could imagine that his gaze was directed at her.

_As if I'd miss my husband's first public appearance._

_Well, I'm glad you're here._

He raised his arms for the cheers to die down. "Thank you for the introduction, General Hux. I would like to start with this."

He lifted his hands up to his helmet and unclipped the latches at the side. He slowly removed it and shook his hair free. When he dropped the mask onto the stand that housed the microphone there were a few gasps and whispers.

A woman near Rey turned to the lady next to her. "I wasn't expecting that."

"You're telling me. He's young and … I can't even describe him."

"You can say his attractive," she offered. "It's not a crime."

"It should be. To be young and attractive and rule an entire galaxy," the other giggled. "I don't even mind the scar." A mischievous grin on her face. "I wonder if he's single?"

Rey was overcome by a possessive wave of darkness. She looked up to the stage and locked eyes with Kylo. He had been casually watching her and ignoring the reactions of the crowd around him. _Just breathe sweetheart. I can feel your dark energy from here._

He viewed the crowd and spoke his words with a regal conviction. "You have known my name and now it is time that you know my face. No longer will I rule from the shadows. It's time for a new governing order."

Cheers erupted again. Kylo had to raise his hands to quiet the noise.

"I am not Snoke and my actions from this point forward will be to benefit the galaxy as a whole. I know you have a certain expectation of your ruler and I plan to not only met them but surpass them. All I ask for is your patience." He shook his head. "Change cannot happen overnight even though we wish it could. The First Order has been involved in questionable behaviour in the past and I am here to confirm that we will not repeat the same mistakes of the past."

More cheers could be heard. He pursed his lips to withhold a smile and waited a little longer for the applause to lessen.

"Today I am here to present Inusagi Medical with a donation to continue to provide the outstanding medical care that I have seen them provide firsthand. I understand there have been rumours surrounding my health and I wish to acknowledge that although I appreciate the concern, I'm in perfect health." He gestured to Dr Stephens standing to the side behind him. "Now if Dr Stephens would please step forward."

Dr Stephens marched up to his side. They both turned towards each other.

"I cannot thank you enough for looking after a precious cause that is close to my heart. Please take this donation as an expression of that gratitude." Kylo pulled out a credit chip and offered it out towards Dr Stephens as well as his other hand for him to shake.

"On behalf of the hospital, I humbly accept your donation and your expression of gratitude." Dr Stephens gripped his hand and gave it a firm shake. "It has been both an honour and a privilege to serve our Emperor." He tilted his head and Kylo tilted his back in return. The flashing of cameras went off around them. They released each other and Dr Stephens stepped back and took his previous place on the stage. Kylo turned back to the microphone.

"I would like to open up the platform for the press to ask any questions."

An older gentleman in the front row stood up. "I'm Sav Manata from the Inusagi Daily. Is it true that a member of your family was admitted here for treatment?"

Kylo kept his expression calm. "Where did you hear that?"

"My sources are anonymous my lord." He inspected his notepad and glanced up at Kylo. "Apparently her name is Lady Ren."

Rey stiffened at the mention of her title. Kylo was being enveloped in darkness.

 _It's okay. Tell them what you have to._ Rey assured him.

_Hux did this. I know it._

_We'll deal with him later. Just breathe. Be vague._

Kylo took a deep breath to centre himself before asking his own question. "Did the source mention anything else?"

"No my lord."

Kylo could feel the sincerity behind his words. _They don't know we're married._ "Yes, it is true. Lady Ren has been admitted."

_Keep it that way._

A variety of people shouted at him their own questions. "When will we see her? Are you married? Does this make her our Empress?"

_Time for the galaxy to think of me as two separate people. Just like you._

"Silence," Kylo loudly commanded. He took a breath. "I can confirm that I am married and that Lady Ren is, in fact, your Empress."

"Will your wife's injuries permanently limit her capabilities as Empress?" A female voice inquired without identifying herself.

"I didn't say that Lady Ren and my wife are the same person." _Even though she is._ "As for my Empress, she will be discharged shortly and is expected to make a full recovery. She will assume her throne in due course."

Whispers began. Manata spoke again. "Who is your wife then?"

"I know you have a lot of questions about her. For now, she will remain anonymous," Kylo smirked. "I don't believe she has chosen to acknowledge our union yet."

_Nice touch._

"Are you saying that you and your wife are currently estranged?"

Another voice asked. "Are you getting a divorce?"

 _Never._ "I'm saying that it's up to her to reveal her identity when the time is right. Enough questions. I would like to thank you all for coming out here today." He grabbed his helmet and tucked it under his arm and stepped away from the microphone. He began marching back towards the conference room and out of sight. _I'll see you soon love._

Rey turned in the wheelchair towards JK. "Take me back to my room and station guards outside of it," she quietly hissed. "I don't want anyone getting anywhere near me or seeing my face."

 

* * *

 

Kylo spiralled around to confront Hux when they were back in the conference room. "What is wrong with you?" Kylo boomed.

"Whatever do you mean my Lord?" Hux frowned.

"Cut the bantha shit, Hux." Kylo was grinding his teeth. " _Your_ the anonymous source aren't you? We both know this has _you_ written all over it."

Hux appeared offended. "I had nothing to do with this," he counteracted. "It was probably the same person who tried to kill your wife."

"Tried to kill my wife?" Kylo copied with scepticism. He was failing to understand why anyone would want to cause harm to Rey.

"Really Ren?" Hux deadpanned. "Did it completely escape your notice that a pilot disobeyed my order and shot her out of the sky?" He scrubbed his face with his hand. "I knew love was blind, but this is ridiculous."

You could hear the creak from Kylo's gloves. "What is that supposed to mean?" _Give me a reason not to kill you._

"Someone is targeting Rey," Hux huffed.

Kylo belittled his suggestion. "And why would they be doing that?"

"The best way to get to you is through her," Hux stated confidently. "Your compassion for her is your weakness."

 _She can't be in the hospital because of me._ Kylo's eye twitched. "Love is not a weakness."

"Isn't it though? Her death would mean your destruction and you just openly publicised to the entire galaxy that you not only have one person to target... but two." He pointed at Kylo and then himself. "You and I know they are the same person but not many others do."

Kylo was trying to process all this information. "Why do you care?"

"I don't." Hux glanced away quickly. "Her death would serve me no purpose. I kill her and you kill me. In the end, nobody would win." He casually began pacing back and forth. "You need to ask yourself who has the most to gain with you out of the way?"

"You," Kylo snorted.

"I thought we already covered this," Hux grunted in frustration. "Besides me."

Hux had a point. _When did he start making sense?_ _If Hux didn't do this - which is a pretty big if._ _The only other person who would stand to gain anything would be my second Knight._

"Lancel Ren," Kylo breathed out his accusation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hux is a clever man and he's very good at strategy. He wouldn't be the General if he wasn't. Why do you think he's survived being surrounded by powerful force users for so long? Through this exchange, we can see why Kylo is reluctant to kill him even though he pushes the boundaries. At this point, Kylo is still shaken by Rey's accident and he's struggling to think clearly. Hux hasn't had a personality transplant if that's what you're all thinking. He knows when to make a move and when to wait...


End file.
